What did Mickey Mouse and Michael Jackson have in common?: (What *didn't* they have in common)
Same red shorts, theme park in their backyard, white glove, soft voices, loved children, they both were black with white faces.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.
I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.
Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.
What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We Are Family.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms.
What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin.
Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.
Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.
What's the number 1 cause of pedophilia?
Sexy kids.
What does Earl Bradley and an Xbox have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
So, I was fucking this bitch, right, and I thought I had AIDS.
So I go and get tested. Turns out I did get AIDS. Now what I'm wondering is where the hell does an eight-year-old get AIDS?! I guess my sister needs new friends...
Why don't Chinese children believe in Santa?
Because they're the ones making the toys.
Why does an orphan hate the ending of Finding Nemo?
Nemo goes back to his father.
I went to a birthday party and told dad jokes.
The jokes didn't go over well. I was asked to leave the orphanage.
What is the day parents stopped fearing for their little boys? June 25, dead pedo day.
Why can't orphans walk through doors?
Because they don't have a house to walk into.
Why are orphans so good at tennis?
They never get love.
What is an orphan's least favorite show? Family Guy.
When I was at work, I saw this kid crying. I said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working in an orphanage.
Why can't orphans eat at a family restaurant?
Because there is no family.
What did the kids say hi to? A slide.
KFC doesn't mean Kentucky Fried Chicken, it means "Kill Fat Children."
Why are orphans bad at hide and seek?
Because they can’t find their parents.
They say I’m sliced like the apples in a kids meal.
Why do orphans have gross cakes?
Because their dad didn't come home with the milk.
What do you call it when an orphan takes a selfie?
A family portrait.
