Children jokes

What's worse than ten babies on one tree? One baby on ten trees.

I saw a kid crying and I asked him where his parents were...

Man, I love working at an orphanage.

9 out of 10 doctors recommend for children to drink water instead of soda. That 1 doctor lives in Flint, Michigan.

Nutted in my shoes, now my kids are taking a walk.

Why do pedophiles go to a nursery?

Early access.

What does Michael Jackson ask little boys before going to bed? Are you sleeping?

Is it just me, or do you kids have imaginations?

So I became a teacher in a school for disabled children.

A kid wanted to ask me a question, so I told him to stand while he address me. 💀

What do orphans like about tattoos? They stick around.

What does a pedophile and a light switch have in common?

They both get turned on by children.

What is the most popular game at the orphanage?

Need For Speed: Most Wanted.

Orphans are funny cuz all they do is sing "We Are Family."

Why don’t cannibal kids eat people with Down Syndrome? Because kids don’t like vegetables.

Little girls are like basic math. If they're under 13, you do them in your head.

What do you do when an orphan takes a family photo?

A selfie.

How do you get a black kid to stop jumping on your bed? Put velcro on the ceiling.

Why can't orphans go to sleepovers?

Their parents never say yes.

Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin."

Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night."

Kid 1: "As if."

Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister."

Kid 1: "I don't have a sister."

Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."

Guess why orphans can't be gay? Cause they have no one to call Daddy.

Why do orphans become hookers?

They can call someone daddy.