Children jokes

What's worse than ten babies on one tree? One baby on ten trees.

I saw a kid crying and I asked him where his parents were...

Man, I love working at an orphanage.

9 out of 10 doctors recommend for children to drink water instead of soda. That 1 doctor lives in Flint, Michigan.

What does Michael Jackson ask little boys before going to bed? Are you sleeping?

What is the most popular game at the orphanage?

Need For Speed: Most Wanted.

Orphans are funny cuz all they do is sing "We Are Family."

What do orphans like about tattoos? They stick around.

So I became a teacher in a school for disabled children.

A kid wanted to ask me a question, so I told him to stand while he address me. 💀

What does a pedophile and a light switch have in common?

They both get turned on by children.

Is it just me, or do you kids have imaginations?

Why don’t cannibal kids eat people with Down Syndrome? Because kids don’t like vegetables.

Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin."

Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night."

Kid 1: "As if."

Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister."

Kid 1: "I don't have a sister."

Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."

Why can't orphans go to sleepovers?

Their parents never say yes.

Guess why orphans can't be gay? Cause they have no one to call Daddy.

Why do orphans become hookers?

They can call someone daddy.

What do you do when an orphan takes a family photo?

A selfie.

What do orphans call their parents?

Unicorns because they don’t exist.

Little girls are like basic math. If they're under 13, you do them in your head.

Today in 3rd grade English, the teacher asked the kids a question, "What turns on when you take your clothes off?"

Little Elsa blushed and screamed, "You can't ask that!"

The English teacher repeats the question and Elsa screams, "I'll tell my parents on you and get you fired!"

Finally, Little Tim raises his hand, "The shower, ma'am."

The English teacher clapped her hands, "Good job, Tim, and as for you Elsa, you do not have the body for that."

One day, a girl was showering with her mom. She pointed at her mom's breasts and asked: "When can I get these?" Her mother replied: "In about 6 to 7 years when you grow up :)".

The other day, the girl's showering with her dad, and she pointed at his penis and asked: "When can I get this?" Her dad looked around and replied: "In about 20 minutes when your mom leaves the house."