Children jokes
I saw a kid crying and I asked him where his parents were...
Man, I love working at an orphanage.
9 out of 10 doctors recommend for children to drink water instead of soda. That 1 doctor lives in Flint, Michigan.
Nutted in my shoes, now my kids are taking a walk.
What does Michael Jackson ask little boys before going to bed? Are you sleeping?
Why do pedophiles go to a nursery?
Early access.
Is it just me, or do you kids have imaginations?
What do orphans like about tattoos? They stick around.
Why don’t cannibal kids eat people with Down Syndrome? Because kids don’t like vegetables.
What is the most popular game at the orphanage?
Need For Speed: Most Wanted.
Orphans are funny cuz all they do is sing "We Are Family."
What does a pedophile and a light switch have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
So I became a teacher in a school for disabled children.
A kid wanted to ask me a question, so I told him to stand while he address me. 💀
Little girls are like basic math. If they're under 13, you do them in your head.
What do I call a white person with 15 black kids?
Coach.
How do you get a black kid to stop jumping on your bed? Put velcro on the ceiling.
Why can't orphans go to sleepovers?
Their parents never say yes.
Guess why orphans can't be gay? Cause they have no one to call Daddy.
Why do orphans become hookers?
They can call someone daddy.
What do you do when an orphan takes a family photo?
A selfie.
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin."
Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night."
Kid 1: "As if."
Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister."
Kid 1: "I don't have a sister."
Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."