Child jokes
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
Why do eight-year-old girls wear panties with flowers on?
In loving memory of all the faces that were buried in there.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They can’t find home.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
One day, a man visited an orphanage.
Then he sees a kid crying. The man asked, "Where are your parents?"
The kid cries even harder.
What’s the difference between Micheal Jackson and a grocery bag?
One is plastic and dangerous for children to play with, the other is used for carrying groceries.
What should orphans do when their parents aren’t there? The usual.
Kid: What is an orphan's favorite breakfast?
Teacher: What?
Kid: Fruity Pebbles with water.
Teacher: Why water?
Kid: 'Cause his dad never came back with the milk.
Why do orphans play with other kids on a playground?
So they will sneak into their parents' car to be a brother or sister.
What do you get when you beat up an autistic kid?
Mashed potatoes.
Can an orphan go to a family restaurant?
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
They don’t know where home is.
A toddler was giving her daddy a tea party.
She brought him a little cup of "tea" which was just water, of course. After several cups of tea, her Mom came home. Dad made her wait in the living room to watch his little Princess bring him a cup of tea, because it was, "Just the cutest thing!" Mom waited, and sure enough, here she come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy. She watches him drink it up and then says, "You know the only place she can reach water, is the toilet!"
Muslim child to his mother: "Mom, why is my backpack so heavy?"
Mom: "Allahu Akbar, my son, Allahu Akbar!"
What are a doctor's and a WWE fighter's ideas on child abuse?
Doctor's: Don't do it, it does not help. Mood behavior.
WWE fighters: If it can crawl, it can brawl.
What did the priest say when he walked into an elementary school?
Let us prey.
What to gift a child molester who already has everything? A bigger county with more believers.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What’s the difference between air and a six year old?
Air has resistance.
"The rise of atheism is going to lead to a break down of social morals and lead to all kinds of filth, including an increase in child abuse," said the village priest.
The village scientists did some fact checking. In prison, they found roughly 70% of child abusers were hyper religious before committing the crimes, and another 20% converted to religions to look 'remorseful'. The remaining 10% preferred not to say. They presented the findings to the media.
"Scientists slander good religious folk and ignore the weight of evidence!"
"Is Science biased against religion? You decide in this survey," they reported.
The village priest is living at his majesty's convenience and tells the others he committed armed robbery.
"Why is this a joke? It's not even funny!" said the person reading this, breaking the forth wall.
What is funny is you got to the end of this post and didn't cringe. Why not?