Child jokes
I was walking down the street and saw a kid and I said, "Are you an orphan?"
He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"
I said, "Your parents at first."
A Sunday school teacher asked her children on the way to service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."
I would tell you an orphan joke, ehh I’ll just tell your parents instead.
Why did orphans want to commit a crime?
Because they wanted to see what it feels like to be wanted.
No one cares if you bully an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
A few kids were talking about how big their houses were. Kids were pointing to huge houses and huge apartments. One little boy said, "Bet I have the biggest home." To everyone's surprise, he pointed right towards the massive orphanage.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple's actually get picked.
What's the difference between an orphan and cotton?
One gets picked.
My mum once told me, "How do you spell Mississippi?" and I said, "Misisipi." But she said, "No, it goes mi-ss-i-ss-pp-i," and I laughed when she said "pp." Then she said, "Why are you laughing?" I tried saying, "You said pp," but I was laughing too hard.
Imagine getting a call and it says, "Welcome to David's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may we help you?"
What do orphans, parents, and trees have in common? They leafed.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't make it to home.
After 12, it's lunch. 😂
What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a Catholic priest?
One goes limp when a child walks in the room.
My dad’s nickname for me is ‘Tiger’.
Now, my wrists look like a tiger.
My little cousin's birthday was in a few days, and his mom said he wanted Hot Wheels. So I sent him a video of me pushing a paralyzed kid into fire and screaming "HOT WHEELS!"
What is the difference between a washing machine and a child?
The washing machine doesn't cry when you put a load in it.
What type of work can orphans do? Homework.
Dark humor is like cancer, it's even funnier when children get it.
An orphan is like marriage. The kid is always the reason for divorce. The kid is always the reason for his parents leaving him.