Child jokes

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple's actually get picked.

No one cares if you bully an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

What's the difference between an orphan and cotton?

One gets picked.

Why did orphans want to commit a crime?

Because they wanted to see what it feels like to be wanted.

A few kids were talking about how big their houses were. Kids were pointing to huge houses and huge apartments. One little boy said, "Bet I have the biggest home." To everyone's surprise, he pointed right towards the massive orphanage.

What do orphans, parents, and trees have in common? They leafed.

Imagine getting a call and it says, "Welcome to David's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may we help you?"

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they can't make it to home.

After 12, it's lunch. 😂

I was laughing my ass off when the 12-year-old child realized the door to my basement was unlocked, and he didn't need to cannibalize his two friends in a desperate attempt for survival. 🤣🤣🤣

A Sunday school teacher asked her children on the way to service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."

In life, it’s either yeet or get beat, and I clearly failed yeeting as a child, as my dad beat me.

Dark humor is like cancer, it's even funnier when children get it.

What type of work can orphans do? Homework.

Q: How many ADHD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Wanna go ride a bike?

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

An orphan is like marriage. The kid is always the reason for divorce. The kid is always the reason for his parents leaving him.

So, a woman gives birth to a child, and the doctor grabs it by the leg and holds it upside down. Then, he starts swinging it around the room, slamming it into the furniture. The mother tries to get up and starts screaming and crying, “Let my baby go, you sick bastard!” The doctor looks at the mother and stops swinging the baby. He is holding it by the left leg and starts chuckling, “I’m just kidding, it was already dead.”

One day, I was sitting on my couch watching YouTube when I heard a knock on the door. I opened the door, and to my surprise, it was my dad. I haven't seen him in 16 years, so I let him in. I noticed he had a gallon of milk in his hand, and he went to the kitchen and put the milk in the fridge.

Then he walked towards me and said, "Oh no! I forgot the cereal!" Then he walked out the door and drove away. I never saw him again.

In some places in the world, you can't get an abortion even after rape. That's so fucked up.

You serve your time, you get out, and you STILL have to pay child support. What a nightmare.