Child jokes

What's the difference between an orphan and cotton?

One gets picked.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple's actually get picked.

Why did orphans want to commit a crime?

Because they wanted to see what it feels like to be wanted.

A few kids were talking about how big their houses were. Kids were pointing to huge houses and huge apartments. One little boy said, "Bet I have the biggest home." To everyone's surprise, he pointed right towards the massive orphanage.

I would tell you an orphan joke, ehh I’ll just tell your parents instead.

No one cares if you bully an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they can't make it to home.

My mum once told me, "How do you spell Mississippi?" and I said, "Misisipi." But she said, "No, it goes mi-ss-i-ss-pp-i," and I laughed when she said "pp." Then she said, "Why are you laughing?" I tried saying, "You said pp," but I was laughing too hard.

After 12, it's lunch. 😂

Michael Jackson was on a boat with a bunch of children. The boat captain comes up to him and says, "Michael, we've come into some trouble and the boat is about to sink. We need to get off the boat right now." "But what about the children?" The captain said, "F*** them." Michael Jackson responded, "Is there enough time?"

In life, it’s either yeet or get beat, and I clearly failed yeeting as a child, as my dad beat me.

What type of work can orphans do? Homework.

Dark humor is like cancer, it's even funnier when children get it.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

An orphan is like marriage. The kid is always the reason for divorce. The kid is always the reason for his parents leaving him.

Q: How many ADHD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Wanna go ride a bike?

So, a woman gives birth to a child, and the doctor grabs it by the leg and holds it upside down. Then, he starts swinging it around the room, slamming it into the furniture. The mother tries to get up and starts screaming and crying, “Let my baby go, you sick bastard!” The doctor looks at the mother and stops swinging the baby. He is holding it by the left leg and starts chuckling, “I’m just kidding, it was already dead.”

One day, I was sitting on my couch watching YouTube when I heard a knock on the door. I opened the door, and to my surprise, it was my dad. I haven't seen him in 16 years, so I let him in. I noticed he had a gallon of milk in his hand, and he went to the kitchen and put the milk in the fridge.

Then he walked towards me and said, "Oh no! I forgot the cereal!" Then he walked out the door and drove away. I never saw him again.

In some places in the world, you can't get an abortion even after rape. That's so fucked up.

You serve your time, you get out, and you STILL have to pay child support. What a nightmare.

A teacher in Scunthorpe asks a class what their favorite football team is, saying, "Raise your hand if it is Scunthorpe." Every student but one raised their hand. The teacher asks, "Why don't you support Scunthorpe?" The child answers, "My parents support Grimsby, and so do I." The teacher comes back with, "Why are you copying your parents? What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad a druggie?" The child answers, "Then I'd support Scunthorpe like you dirty bastards!"