Child jokes
Why can you slap an orphan?
Are they going to tell mommy?
What's the difference between a child and a carrot? About 140 calories.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
One day, a child walks along and asks, "Mother, why am I called Butterfly?"
The mother replies, "A butterfly landed on you as a baby."
A minute later, another child comes along and says, "Mother, why am I called Feather?"
The mother then replied, "Because a feather fell on your head when you were born."
Then Brick comes along and says, "Ahahhsdjsjskxs."
Why do orphans hate baseball?
They don’t know what home base is.
What do you call a cross between a priest and a child?
The cross shoved up the priest’s ass as he ‘downward dogs’ the kid.
Q: What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
A: One of them gets picked.
I once told an orphan to go big or go home. He replied, "I can't get home; it got bombed."
What do you call an autistic daughter?
Boy: Mom, why are you drinking this disgusting red soup? I wanted salad.
Mom: Quiet, son. We only get this once a month.
What were Michael Jackson's last words? "Take me to the children's hospital."
Why are orphans so skinny?
They never eat anything that is family size.
My 19-year-old girl killed a butterfly. I said no butter for you.
She then she killed a cockroach. I told her nice try.
What spooky creature has children?
Mummies.
How long does it take for 10 dead babies to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.
How would Steven Hawking's mom punish him as a kid?
Power off his chair.
So if you say a bear shoots children, and Leah likes Mason Boswells, and I go to Benjamin Adlard year 6.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a donut?
People want donuts.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You make them clap until they go home.
Why was the orphan so successful? Because once someone told him "go big or go home," and he only had one option.