"What did the blind, dumb, paraplegic, dead, eight-year-old child get for their birthday?"
"Cancer."
A miscarriage always brings the child out in me.
My ex was an orphan as a child.
I should have taken that as the first sign.
If her parents didn't want her, why would I?
Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A. Ask your mother.
What's worse than placing 10 babies in a trash can?
Placing 1 baby in 10 trash cans...
What's a child abuser's favorite song?
"Just Beat It!"
What do pedophiles call children in wheelchairs?
"Meals on Wheels."
How many orphans does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they don't even got a home.
Why can you slap an orphan?
Are they going to tell mommy?
Why'd the orphan cross the road? He was told his parents were on the other side.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't make a home run.
Why did the orphan become a criminal? It wants to be wanted.
A man sees a small boy begging for money. He walks up to him and asks him if he is an orphan.
The boy asks, "What gave me away?"
The man responds, "Your parents."
I saw a kid crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working in an orphanage.
Why did little Susie fall off the swing?
Because she has no arms or legs.
Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
Not Susie.
How many children does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Not 27, because my basement is still dark.
So the other day, I saw a child in a wheelchair.
He was getting bullied a lot, so I came up and said, "Why don't you stand up to those bullies?"
No, it's not just a crotch grab. Jacko was jacking it on stage when he saw a 6-year-old boy in the front row.
Some people ask why jokes exist. I say, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much, they have sex, and they make another one of you.
What do you call a kid watching Star Wars by themselves?
Hans Solo.
