Child jokes
Why did the orphan go to church?
To hear some "foster" parenting advice.
What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a Catholic priest?
One goes limp when a child walks in the room.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They can’t find home.
What does an orphan and a military man not have in common? Neither gets to go back home.
Q: What's yellow and floats?
A: A bus full of children.
What do boobs and toys have in common?
They were both originally made for kids, but daddies end up playing with them.
How do you keep your friends from boring you with pictures of their children?
Every time they show you a new one, you say, "Oh FUCK yeah!"
What joke could orphan's never understand?
Your Mom jokes.
What’s green and orange and sits at the bottom of the swimming pool?
A baby with burst armbands.
Why was the boy crying?
He had a frog stapled to his face.
Why can’t you kidnap an orphan?
Because you can’t steal what was never wanted in the first place.
One day Timmy walks in on his mum in the bath. Then he asks, “What’s that dark fuzzy thing, mummy?” and mum said, “It’s a bush, every girl has one!” Then the next day he walks in on his dad in the shower. So he asks, “Daddy, what’s that long thing?” The dad then says, “It’s a sexy boy” accidentally. Timmy asks his dad, “What does sexy mean?” And the dad says, “Your mother, of course,” making it seem like a child-friendly compliment. Then the next day at school Timmy wanted to compliment his teacher. He walks up to her and says, “You’re so so sexy!”
My ex was an orphan as a child.
I should have taken that as the first sign.
If her parents didn't want her, why would I?
Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A. Ask your mother.
What's worse than placing 10 babies in a trash can?
Placing 1 baby in 10 trash cans...
If her age is on the clock, she gets the cock.
How many orphans does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they don't even got a home.
Why can you slap an orphan?
Are they going to tell mommy?
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't make a home run.
I saw a kid crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working in an orphanage.