Child jokes
How do you keep your friends from boring you with pictures of their children?
Every time they show you a new one, you say, "Oh FUCK yeah!"
What is an orphan's least favorite TV show?
Family Feud.
What do you call an orphan family tree?
A tree stump.
Why did the orphan go to church?
To hear some "foster" parenting advice.
What does an orphan and a military man not have in common? Neither gets to go back home.
Memes
What’s green and orange and sits at the bottom of the swimming pool?
A baby with burst armbands.
Why was the boy crying?
He had a frog stapled to his face.
Is it bad to hit an orphan?
It's not like they'll tell their parents.
How many dead children does it take to change the light in a basement?
More than ten, apparently.
A miscarriage always brings the child out in me.
Why can’t you kidnap an orphan?
Because you can’t steal what was never wanted in the first place.
Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A. Ask your mother.
My ex was an orphan as a child.
I should have taken that as the first sign.
If her parents didn't want her, why would I?
What's worse than placing 10 babies in a trash can?
Placing 1 baby in 10 trash cans...
If her age is on the clock, she gets the cock.
How many orphans does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they don't even got a home.
What do pedophiles call children in wheelchairs?
"Meals on Wheels."
So the other day, I saw a child in a wheelchair.
He was getting bullied a lot, so I came up and said, "Why don't you stand up to those bullies?"
What do the Spanish people call child abuse? Pedrophile.
Why did the orphan become a criminal? It wants to be wanted.