Child jokes
Kelly Clarkson may be able to shed her weight [through pills], but she will never be able to shed the fact that she admitted herself that she molested her children when they were toddlers.
Why'd the orphan cross the road? He was told his parents were on the other side.
Where does an orphan come from?
Daddy getting milk.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What do priests give children?
Syphilis.
It’s sleepover, with three kids, which are friends. Kid 1: let’s eat pancake! Kid 2: agreed! The kid named Pancake:
Why can't an orphan eat a bag of chips?
Because the chip was family size.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They can't find home.
What do a plastic bag and Jeffery Epstein have in common?
They're both dangerous to children.
What’s long, yellow, and doesn’t float?
A school bus filled with children.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan?
Because they can't call their parents.
How do you know you've found a priest? When little Timmy is glued to his crotch.
So little Johnny was walking to the bathroom, and he said, "Grandma," said, "why is the blood coming out of your ###😥 I need to call help."
An orphan uses a family bathroom, and when he comes out, he gets told, "This is a family bathroom."
You know a piranha can devour a small child in 30 seconds. Anyway, I lost my job at the aquarium today.
After 12, it's lunch. 😂
What is an orphan's favorite flower? Self-raising. 😂
A programmer pushes a stroller through the park. An elderly couple comes along: "Is it a boy or a girl?" The programmer replies, "Yes."
Why did orphans want to commit a crime?
Because they wanted to see what it feels like to be wanted.
You learn from mistakes!
That's why you're an only child!