Child Jokes

Dad: here u go son all ur toys have gone to the orphanage Son: why dad Dad:you would be bored there if there was not anything to do

What movie does an orphan hate? -No way home

My boss said she would’ve loved to meet bill Cosby as a child. I don’t get why im getting arrested, I was just making sure he dream came true

what is an orphans dads job a magician because he makes him self disappear.

where did little lucy go during the bombing? everywhere

Little Johnny was playing with his train and said all you motherf*ckers who want to get off get off and all you motherf*ckers who want to get on get on his mother here's him and said is that you cussing. The mother said go to your room for 1 hour little Johnny goes to his room then little johnny comes back one hour later and said all you motherf*ckers who wanna get off get off and all you motherf*ckers who wanna get on get on and if you wanna know about the 1 hour delay go ask the b*tch in the kitchen.

Girl 1: Dad, why is my name rose? Dad: because a rose landed on your head. Girl 2: Hey dad, why is my name daisy? Dad: because a daisy landed on your head. Boy: Hitddvjkyrefbhhhrurrrr! Dad: Oh, Hey Brick!

Dad and Mom: -takes one look at Child-

Dad and Mom: we don't want him

Orphan: And I took that, Personally-

What’s the difference between a aligator and a child?

You can’t abuse a aligator

Five little monkeys jumping on the bed,

One fell off and bumped his head.

The momma called the doctor and the doctor said...

“We’re calling Child Protective Services.”

Little Jonny walks in on his parents having sex. He asks what their doing and the father says: "Well...We're making you a brother." So little Jonny runs off to let his parents finish, happy that he's going to have a brother soon. The next day when little Jonny's father comes come Jonny is crying out on the driveway. The father sits down next to Jonny and asks what's wrong. Jonny cries: "I won't have a baby brother!" HIs father is confused. "What do you mean?" He asks. "Because the mailman came by today and ate him!"

You know a parana can devour a small child in 30 seconds Any way I lost my job at the aquarium today

I bought an orphan kid an iPhone.. Guess what? It had no home button.

Dad: ok son if you fail this test your no longer my child ok Son: ok dad AFTER TEST Dad: hay son how'd the test go? Son: son?

I saw this kid who looked depressed, so I threw a torch, at him I thought I would brighten up his day

officer, I drop-kicked that child in SELF-DEFENSE!

You gotta believe me!

What part is usually missing in an orphan’s computer system?

Motherboard.

Little Johnny went up to his mom and said: "Can i have some milk?" He waited for three hours to get an answer. His mom finally said: "No your dad still isn't back with it."

if you hit a child that's child abuse. if you hit a family member that's abuse. if you kill either, it's murder for some reason. if it's a whole family, its genocide for another reason.