Child jokes
What do you call an epileptic kid eating fruits?
A blender.
I got an orphan an iPhone 6. I told him to press the home button. He has been doing it all day.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
Neither can see their parents.
Me: I asked an orphan where his parents were. I also said that I promised to take him to them.
Orphan: They're dead.
Me: A promise made is a promise kept.
What's yellow but can't swim?
A bus full of children.
Memes
What's red and in a corner?
A baby with a razor blade.
What's green and in a corner?
The same baby three weeks later.
How come when women decide to kill their unborn baby it's a "choice"? But when I decide to drive my car into a playground full of children it's called "murder."
What is the difference between an old chest and a kid? One doesn't cry when you drop it in the basement.
What do most 50-year-old men put inside their cars?
Children.
You can beat up orphans, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?
How to make an orphan's hand bleed? By making them clap until their parents come back.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple? An apple gets picked.
What’s the difference between a nose and an orphan? A nose gets picked more.
Why does an orphan love to go to church?
Because they have someone to call father.
So little Johnny was on the bus, and the bus driver already hated him. So he started to talk to himself JUST loud enough for the bus driver to hear.
"If my dad was a bull, and my mom was a cow, that would make me... a little bull!"
"If my dad was a rooster, and my mom was a hen, that would make me... a little rooster!"
And by this point, the bus driver was fed up with him, so he said:
"Ok little Johnny, I got one for you: If your dad was a drunk, and your mom was a whore, what would that make you?"
Little Johnny smiled and said: "A bus driver!"
Why can't an orphan play Family Feud? Because it has to have a family.
Dream tweeted, and I quote, "Babies kick pregnant women all the time, but I do it one time and I’m the one arrested."
Me and my friend went to the park. After a while, we grabbed our little princess and said, "It's time to go, sweetie." But before we could go, someone said, "Stop them, they have my daughter!"
Why do orphans hate milk? Cause their family is still shopping for it!
Why is it so easy bullying orphans?
They can’t tell their mom.