Child jokes
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They can’t find home.
I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were.
Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
I was raised as an only child, which I think was hard for my brother.
What’s the definition of a pedophile, Tyler?
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple always gets picked.
Why do orphans play with Barbies?
So they can have a home :)
There was a little kid crying in the park today. I asked him where his parents were. Now I realize, man, I love my job.
"Bill swift here, you make them, we take them!"
So I got my son a trampoline for Christmas this year, and he was so ungrateful, like he just sat there crying in his wheelchair. What has this world come to?
Stranger: Do you want a lollipop?
Kid: No, I hate lollipops, so yeah, and you are not my daddy.
How is an orphan like a boomerang?
They always come back!
Orphans are the best targets for bullying, since who are they gonna cry to? Their parents?
What is an orphan's favorite toy? A mom and dad action figure.
What joke could orphan's never understand?
Your Mom jokes.
So the other day, I saw a child in a wheelchair.
He was getting bullied a lot, so I came up and said, "Why don't you stand up to those bullies?"
Three boys are playing on a slide when a genie appeared.
The genie says, "Whatever you shout when you go down the slide, I will grant you a bucket full of."
The first boy goes down the slide shouting, "diamonds!", and he gets a bucket of diamonds.
The second boy goes down the slide and shouts, "gold!", and gets a bucket of gold.
The third boy, who never listens or pays attention, goes down the slide and shouts "weeeeeeee!"
Children who are unvaccinated are less likely to have autism. You know why?
-You have to be alive to have autism.
Why do we never make adult jokes in front of orphans?
Because the joke needs parental guidance.
What's the difference between oxygen and children? I don't have oxygen in my basement.
Why did the child cross the road?
To get to the church.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The Priest... Let's go to my office, because I'm totally not a pedophile.