Child jokes
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A bus full of children.
Have you heard about the pedophile who was guilty of robbery?
He took a girl's innocence.
What's worse than a baby in a dumpster?
A baby in two dumpsters.
Mom tells her son to go to the other kid, to walk to the kid just standing still, to clap so the kid can hear and move out of the way of the car.
But her son was blind, the other kid had no legs so he couldn't walk, and the kid has no arms so he couldn't clap, and the kid died because he couldn't hear; he was deaf.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't make a home run.
What is an orphanage's favorite Roblox game?
"Adopt Me."
What is an orphan and an apple?
They get picked.
Have a sink in your house? Eat it.
Have a mouse in your house? Kill it.
Have a child in your house? MICROWAVE IT.
...just kidding. Now watch this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5tjtUFL0j4
Two priests are driving down a road when they are pulled over by the cops.
The cop shines a light in their faces and signals to the driver to roll down his window.
"We're searching for two child molesters," he says.
The driver leans over to the other priest, and they whisper between themselves.
Finally, he turns back to the policeman. "Ok. We'll do it."
How to make an orphan's hands hurt: Make them clap their hands till their parents come back.
I saw an orphan fall in the street crying, so I ran up to him and said, "Are you okay? Where are your parents?"
Armless child: Can you give me a hand??
Me: Ok.
Are you depressed? Go punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Why is it okay to hit an orphan?
It's not like it can tell its parents.
If you think about it, then adoption is the last choice for getting a child, so those who are adopted were the last choice.
When I was at work, I saw this kid crying. I said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working in an orphanage.
What do you call an orphan home alone?
A family reunion.
What do you call an orphan's family region?
Me time.
Why did the child cross the road?
To get to the church.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The Priest... Let's go to my office, because I'm totally not a pedophile.