Child jokes

One day, I was sitting on my couch watching YouTube when I heard a knock on the door. I opened the door, and to my surprise, it was my dad. I haven't seen him in 16 years, so I let him in. I noticed he had a gallon of milk in his hand, and he went to the kitchen and put the milk in the fridge.

Then he walked towards me and said, "Oh no! I forgot the cereal!" Then he walked out the door and drove away. I never saw him again.

A teacher in Scunthorpe asks a class what their favorite football team is, saying, "Raise your hand if it is Scunthorpe." Every student but one raised their hand. The teacher asks, "Why don't you support Scunthorpe?" The child answers, "My parents support Grimsby, and so do I." The teacher comes back with, "Why are you copying your parents? What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad a druggie?" The child answers, "Then I'd support Scunthorpe like you dirty bastards!"

If you’re forced to have it as a child, you won’t like it as an adult.

I guess Hitler was forced to have vegetables when he was younger.

How to get quick cash:

Step 1: Kill a child's parents.

Step 2: Do foster care for them.

Step 3: Get paid for doing foster care.

I only kidnapped orphans because they have no parents to report them missing.

How do you name an Asian child?

Ring the doorbell.

Why are orphanages like dogs?

Because they get adopted.

What do you call a white girl that can run faster than her brothers?

The redneck virgin.

A boy with Down Syndrome was talking with his mom.

“Mom, why did God make me like this?” he said.

“It’s because God made you special,” she said.

“Just kidding, I was only talking about your needs.”

In life, it’s either yeet or get beat, and I clearly failed yeeting as a child, as my dad beat me.

9 out of 10 doctors recommend for children to drink water instead of soda. That 1 doctor lives in Flint, Michigan.

What did the orphan get for Christmas?

Lego figures from his friend, but they ran away too.

What's the difference between apples and orphans? The apples get picked, XD!

Why do pedophiles go to a nursery?

Early access.

what happens when you accidentally taught your child to call every man daddy?

you find the real one.

Is it just me, or do you kids have imaginations?

No, it's not just a crotch grab. Jacko was jacking it on stage when he saw a 6-year-old boy in the front row.

What flour do you give an orphan?

Self-raising.

Why do orphans play a lot of tennis?

Cause that's the only way they get love.

Sonic says: "If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?"