Child jokes

How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?

You pay the ice cream man to keep on driving. IDK.

Q) What did the airplane say to the little boy?

A) Nothing, airplanes don't talk!

What's an orphan's favorite toy?

A boomerang because it actually came back.

Why does an orphan play mum and dad?

'Cause they need self-love.

So, I was in the woods the other day raping this woman when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!' I said, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'

Are the three little pigs orphans because their mom kicked them out of the house?

I got fired from my paramedic job on the first day. I told an eight-year-old who lost his leg in a car accident to "walk it off."

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple actually gets picked.

Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they cannot find home.

What is an orphan's least favorite TV show?

Family Feud.

What's the same thing between a baby and a grenade?

They both make a sound when thrown.

OK, so Kenya and Kariah are both orphans that hate orphan jokes, so how about we make a joke out of them!

How many children can you fit in a box?

Maybe five if you have a trash compactor.

Why can't orphans play rounders?

Because they don't know where home is.

I asked a kid why he was so blue.

Didn't realize his parents were choking him out.

Why did the orphan become a criminal? It wants to be wanted.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple gets picked.

Little Johnny was sitting in class, and he was behind a girl called Sally. The teacher asks the class, "Who created the Earth?" And Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, "MY GOD!" And the teacher says, "Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth." Sally sits down.

Then, the teacher asks, "Where do you go after you live a good life?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, "HEAVENS TO BETSY!" And the teacher says, "Yes Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life." Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gave Little Johnny an angry glare, and she turns around.

And then, the teacher asks the class, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time in the back, and Sally jumps, turns around and says, "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I'm gonna lose it!" And the teacher faints.

What's the difference between orphans and apples?

Apples get picked.

How to make an orphan's hands hurt: Make them clap their hands till their parents come back.