Child jokes
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They have no home to run to.
Why can’t orphans go on school field trips?
[Parent’s signature: __________]
"The rise of atheism is going to lead to a break down of social morals and lead to all kinds of filth, including an increase in child abuse," said the village priest.
The village scientists did some fact checking. In prison, they found roughly 70% of child abusers were hyper religious before committing the crimes, and another 20% converted to religions to look 'remorseful'. The remaining 10% preferred not to say. They presented the findings to the media.
"Scientists slander good religious folk and ignore the weight of evidence!"
"Is Science biased against religion? You decide in this survey," they reported.
The village priest is living at his majesty's convenience and tells the others he committed armed robbery.
"Why is this a joke? It's not even funny!" said the person reading this, breaking the forth wall.
What is funny is you got to the end of this post and didn't cringe. Why not?
What does an orphan and a wheelchair have in common?
They can both be replaced.
What were Michael Jackson's last words? "Take me to the children's hospital."
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
I don't know, it depends on how hard you throw them.
I asked my dad why a grown man would play Pokémon Go?
He said “Wynaut.”
There was once a grandfather. He had very little hair, and he lived in a forest.
On his death bed, he was fully bald. So he told his children, "You see my head? I have no hair. All of my hair has been wiped, and I hope this forest doesn't experience the same. Children, every time a tree is cut in this forest, plant a new one in its place."
So for years, and to this day, that forest still stands, each tree being replanted. All because of an old man and his re-seeding hairline.
A little boy and a little girl were taking a bath.
The little girl looked down and said, "What's that?"
"That's my little red sports car," said the little boy.
The little boy looked down and said, "What's that?"
"That's my little red sports car garage," said the little girl.
A few seconds later, the little girl said, "How about you put your little red sports car in my little red sports car garage?"
"Sure," said the little boy.
The little boy's mother was downstairs and heard this blood curdling scream. She ran upstairs. Once she got there, she saw blood all over the bathtub. "What happened?!" she said.
"Well, Johnny tried to put his little red sports car in my little red sports car garage...but it didn't fit...so I cut the back wheels off..."
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They can't go home.
What is yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
What’s the difference between Micheal Jackson and a grocery bag?
One is plastic and dangerous for children to play with, the other is used for carrying groceries.
What is the difference between Juice Wrld and an orphan?
One is loved by all.
So little Johnny was walking to the bathroom, and he said, "Grandma," said, "why is the blood coming out of your ###😥 I need to call help."
Q) Why is Technoblade's body hard?
A) Cuz he was thinking of children on his deathbed!
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
Both can't see their parents.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't run home.
Dad: No, Timmy, you don't have to worry, there is no monster sleeping under your bed, it sleeps every night in the bed next to me.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home base.
Dark Humor is like a child with cancer. It never gets old.