Child jokes
Craig Duncan is a child soldier with bad breath and has killed 5 people (on Fortnite).
What did the mom say to the baby?
What do you call a baby in the crib?
Boys and girls watch Monsters, Inc.
I will always remember my baby sister's last words: "What is the fire for?"
What are the differences between a preschool and a pedophile's basement? Little kids leave preschool.
Can an orphan go to a family restaurant?
Why did the boy get run over?
Sally was driving.
April Fool's joke: Go to an orphanage and tell them, "Their parents came back."
How many times can 50 fit into 9?
Get in a van and find out.
Puerto Rican teen: I'm a waste, a failure, NUNCA LO PODRA ASER (I'll never be able to do it).
The mother: AI NINO (OH CHILD).
The teen: QUE? (WHAT?)
The mother: NO TE PONGA CON ESTA MIELDA OTRAVES! (DON'T START WITH THIS SHIT AGAIN!)
The teen: I CAN'T DO SHIT RIGHT MAMA!
The mother: OOOHHH YEAH WELL TU SI PUEDES ABLAR MIELDA DE TI, I BOTAR BASURA! (YOU SURE CAN TALK CRAP ABOUT YOURSELF AND THROW OUT THE TRASH.)
The teen: QUAL (WHICH).
The mother: MADRE DE DIOS (MOTHER OF GOD).
The teen: AVIA UNA NEGRA I OTRA BLANKA (THERE WAS A BLACK ONE AND WHITE ONE).
*A phone buzzes.*
The teen: Whose phone is that, ma?
Unknown: MR. PRESIDENT IF YOU TAKE AWAY THE CONFEDERATE FLAG HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHO THE BAD WHITE PEOPLE ARE?
*Runs to bag, opens white one and sticks hand in.*
The teen: HAIR GEL
A kid asks for an ice cream. The man says, "Any sauce?" and the kid says, "Na, I got ketchup at home."
Me: "I like kids."
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
He doesn't know where home is.
Father: "The church is on fire! GET OUT! GET OUT!"
Priest: "Ok, what about the children?"
Father: "FUCK THE CHILDREN!"
Priest: "Do you think we'll have time?"
Child: I am hungry.
Dad: Hi hungry, I am dad!!!
Child: *groans* *walks away*
What do boobs and toys have in common?
Kids end up playing with toys, but adults end up playing with boobs.
What does a kid and wine have in common?
Shit, I forgot, but they're both locked in my cellar right now.
When you see an "Autistic child zone" sign and say, "Oh! That wasn't a dog."
One day, I saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. I asked if he was an orphan. He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" I said, "His parents."
What's the difference between a PC and a 6 year old? I don't have to clean out my PC.