Child jokes
What's an orphan's favorite movie?
"Home Alone."
What's the one upside to being an orphan?
You never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.
What did the blonde say when someone says, "Your baby is so cute?"
"For the last time, I don't want to sign up my child for Tindergarten just yet!"
Do you know what a reverse exorcism is?
It's when the demon tells the priest to exit the child's body.
Who does an orphan play soccer with?
No one.
The orphan started crying at school when he got suspended and had to go home.
Do you know the TV show "Naked and Afraid?" Well, that's what my grandpa and I played when I was young.
What’s an orphan's favorite event?
Homecoming.
A feather and a depressed boy fell at the same time, which one hits the ground first?
The feather, because the rope stopped the child.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't run home.
If you punch an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
HIIIIIIIIIII
I LOVE ORPHANS!
I don't like the term "kidnapping." I prefer "surprise adoption."
What's the difference between drugs and children? I don't sell drugs.
What do you call an orphan home alone?
A family reunion.
A little kid was lost, and he asked me to find his home. I love working at the orphanage.
Yo mama so stupid she threw a Mother's Day party at an orphanage.
What do you call a boomerang that does not come back?
An orphan's parents.
What is an orphan and an apple?
They get picked.
A Mario & Luigi joke.
What are the Mario bros' view on child support?
Mario: The parents are obligated to provide for the child and help them the best they could.
Luigi: LMAO I GOTTA GO!