Child

Child jokes

My mum found a chest that was wet, and it had a child in it. She asked me what it was for. I said I put kids in it and chuck it in a river until they are dead.

I found a child on the street homeless, and they were really nice, so I took them home. Then I said, "Who's better, Biden or Trump?" They said they support Trump. They are now dead in my basement and have been for 3 years.

I was having a party in my basement, and my friend asked me what that bag covered in blood was for. I said, "Oh, that's the bag I catch the children with to torture them in this basement."

When you go to the priest's basement, you will always find the pope's body and his children in the corner of the room.

I saw a little kid crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working at an orphanage.

Santa Claus gave a child a bike and a football. The child wasn’t happy. Why?

He had no legs.

What's the difference between puppies and orphans?

The puppies actually get adopted.

Teacher: We have a new student. He's an orphan.

Student: Oof.

Teacher: Is anyone missing?

Student: His parents.

I love taking my daughter out in the car. Every time we go over a speed bump, I tell her we ran over another dog. 😂

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    • A woman buys a house, but she doesn't know what to name the house, so she stuck her head outside and heard "Hairy butt," so she named the house Hairy Butt.

    The next month she had a baby, but she didn't know what to name him, so she stuck her head outside and heard "Crack," so she named the baby Crack.

    After a year or two she lost him, so she called the police and said, "Help! I looked all over my hairy butt, but I couldn't find my little crack."

    What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? I take my shoes off when I jump on a trampoline.

    What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?

    An apple actually gets picked.