What did the traffic light say to the car? Don’t look I’m about to change
how do Asians name their babies? They throw pots and pans around ‘Ching, Chang, Clang’
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his wife changed the WiFi password
(I want to apologize in advance. These are very dark jokes)
What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick
I was going to tell a dead baby joke. But I decided to abort.
Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? His wife is dead.
4.Why does Helen Keller hate porcupines? They’re painful to look at.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
What did the traffic light 🚦 say to the car 🚗? Don’t look I’m about to change
How many dead children does it take to change the light in a basement?
More than ten, apparently.
A man who desperately wanted to be good after serving time in prison was visited by an Angel "You want to change? You can still enter heaven on two conditions …you must bet on the horses with any money you have and pass your winnings to someone less fortunate and you must never hold on to any beef . " The Angel then disappeared. The man did as was told and became generous and kind …as he emerged from the betting office with all his money… he would pass every penny of it all to a deserving person…each and everytime. He ,however couldn’t seem to avoid meat and would still eat it no matter what . When he died the Angel came back for him … “But I’m undeserving I can’t come with you” he said … “Yes you can” replied the Angel , “you gave all your stake ( steak) away”
How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: 1 to actually change the light bulb and the other 98 to suck each others cocks and shit like that.
Why did the golfer change his pants because he got hole in one
A guy was on trial for murder and if convicted, would get the electric chair. His brother found out that a redneck was on the jury and figured he would be the one to bribe. He told the redneck that he would be paid $10,000 if he could convince the rest of the jury to reduce the charge to manslaughter.
The jury was out an entire week and returned with a verdict of manslaughter.
After the trial, the brother went to the redneck’s house, told him what a great job he had done and paid him the $10,000.
The red neck replied that it wasn’t easy to convince the rest of the jury to change the charge to manslaughter. They all thought he was not guilty and, wanted to let him go.
in the new grinch the whos would say he stole christmest get him then the grinch said im a orphan that changes everything the whos said what would they do if max was a orphan
How many homeless guys does it take to change a lightbulb? “You’re telling me there’s change in a lightbulb?”
How Many Communist Does it take To Change Lightbulb? Never Enough
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? 1 to change the bulb and 1 to suck my dick.
How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? It only takes one but it takes a long time and the light bulb has to want to change.
Broccoli says" I look like a tree" Walnut says “I look like a brain”, Cashew says “I look like a kidney”, Banana says "can we change the topic please? "
Kid:what is between moms legs? Dad:paridise. Kid whats between you legs? Dad:the key to paridise. Kid:well uou better change the lock the neighbor has the key to.
I told the doctor I didn’t want a brain surgery. But he changed my mind.
How many degrees does it take to change ice into boiling water? 199, because, the difference between -100 and +100 is 199 (excluding the zero, because it’s not real and it doesn’t exist because it’s not real). Get? https://youtu.be/XZQOjp0i35A?t=333
-Why that flight is waiting at 30,000 feet height?
-One tyre became flat. They are changing it in the middle of journey.