Cemetery jokes

What is written on the gravestone of a TV reporter?

"You must be back at 8:00 p.m."

This isn't really a joke, but it's true. Your picture for your funeral may have already been taken :)

I put the fun in funeral.

I got caught fucking a dead body by my family. RIP grandma.

Ever looked at a cemetery and thought, wow, Heaven and Hell must be crowded?

Why is the graveyard so noisy?

Because of all the coffin : )

Why should you put an orphanage by a cemetery?

So they can always see their parents.

How many people do you think are in a graveyard? Hopefully none.

Did you know that a lot of graves are put in churchyards?

Yeah, they're pretty holey.

You don't want to know why it takes so long to put a dead woman in a mass-produced coffin in a pre-buried grave dug by machinery that is then filled by mourners.

Why do cemeteries have fences around them? People are dying to get in.

I don't understand why in horror movies they make digging a grave look so easy. It usually takes me days.

There was an air crash of a Boeing 737-800 which can carry around 300 passengers.

It crashed in a cemetery.

They recovered 500 bodies.

The cemetery is so overcrowded.

People are just dying to get in.

How many orphans does it take to "test drive" a bus? It depends on how much space the orphanage has and how much space the cemetery has.