Cemetery jokes

Never invest in funerals. It's a dying industry.

There's something special about cemeteries.

People are dying to get inside.

Did you hear about the cemetery? I heard that people are dying to be there.

What do you call a cemetery of dead Arabs? A mine field.

Where do mathematicians go to die?

The symmetry.

A sad guy called "nun" is crying next to the grave of his best friend called "month". "Month" got killed by a gay guy, and after that, "nun" got homophobic.

While "nun" is sitting next to "month"'s grave, he heard a guy ask his friend: 《Do You Wanna Play A Game On?》 "Nun" got angry and he asked that guy: 《What did you just say to your friend?》 The guy answers: 《A game on, why?》

"Nun" kills the two guys.

🤔

A man gets on a bus and ends up sitting next to a very attractive nun. Enamored with her, he asks if he can have sex with her. Naturally, she says no and gets off the bus. The man goes to the bus driver and asks him if he knows of a way for him to have sex with the nun.

"Well," says the bus driver, "every night at 8 o'clock, she goes to the cemetery to pray. If you dress up as God, I'm sure you could convince her to have sex with you."

The man decides to try it, and dresses up in his best God costume. At eight, he sees the nun and appears before her.

"Oh, God!" she exclaims. "Take me with you!" The man tells the nun that she must first have sex with him to prove her loyalty. The nun says yes, but tells him she prefers anal sex. Before you know it, they're getting down to it, having nasty, grunty, loud sex. After it's over, the man pulls off his God disguise.

"Ha, ha! I'm the man from the bus!"

"Ha, ha!" says the nun, removing her costume. "I'm the bus driver!"

Dead people jokes are the best, they're ground breaking.

Why are orphans' funerals so small?

They have no loved ones.

What kind of coffee do they serve at funerals?

Burial grounds.

Why did the family get mad at the boy for eating at the funeral?

While trying to season his food, he mistook his cremated grandfather for salt.

The other day I took my Grandma to one of those fish spas where the little fish eat your dead skin.

It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery.

Look, it's the dead center of town!

Ever looked at a cemetery and thought, wow, Heaven and Hell must be crowded?

This isn't really a joke, but it's true. Your picture for your funeral may have already been taken :)

So my depressed friend wanted to high-five the tree by the cemetery.

The tree left him hanging though.

Why is the graveyard so noisy?

Because of all the coffin : )

Why should you put an orphanage by a cemetery?

So they can always see their parents.

Why are graveyards so popular? Because people are always dying to get into them.

Did you know that if you die you can still be a part of family game night!

All you have to do is have your family cremate you and put you in an hour glass, and the games that use hour glasses, well, you will be a part of family game night.