What's worse than getting raped in a cemetery? Finding someone else's semen in your mom's corpse.
Cemetery Jokes
I was gardening and found a chest full of blood... I forgot I was in the cemetery.
When you're driving past a graveyard say: "Wow, people were just dying to get in there."
Cemeteries are so popular! People are, like... dying to get there.
Did you hear about the cemetery? I heard that people are dying to be there.
Why is the graveyard so noisy?
Because of all the coffin : )
When there’s an earthquake, coffins become underground maracas.
Cemeteries should be built next to orphanages, so the orphans can see their parents.
So my depressed friend wanted to high-five the tree by the cemetery.
The tree left him hanging though.
A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend says, "Where is your girlfriend?" The guy says, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week."
When you're at a funeral and you laugh at the body... everyone stares, and one person said, "Isn't that your mom...?"
A Chinese boy never met his parents after they were killed in WW2, so when he learned where they were buried, he quickly rushed there.
He sat down in front of their graves and prayed, "I want to see your face again, mommy..." A miracle happened; his mother rose up from the graves and hugged him.
The boy cried then said, "I want to see you too, dad." He looked at his father's grave, but nothing happened.
Suddenly, a Japanese soldier came up behind him and asked, "Were you looking for me?"
You don't want to know why it takes so long to put a dead woman in a mass-produced coffin in a pre-buried grave dug by machinery that is then filled by mourners.
I heard this was a really popular funeral home. People are dying to get in.
I put the fun in funeral.
Did you know that lots of graves are put in churchyards?
Yeah, they're pretty holey.
Why are graveyards so popular? Because people are always dying to get into them.
Why should you put an orphanage by a cemetery?
So they can always see their parents.
GRAVEYARD SAVINGS:
While leafing through our local newspaper, I noticed this classified ad: “For sale: one used tombstone. Splendid opportunity for a family named Dingle.”
Did you know that if you die you can still be a part of family game night!
All you have to do is have your family cremate you and put you in an hour glass, and the games that use hour glasses, well, you will be a part of family game night.
