Cemetery Jokes

A guy on a bus saw a beautiful girl. He asked for her number, and of course, she said no. He asked the bus driver for advice, and he said, "That girl goes to the cemetery to pray every day at 10 p.m. and look for a statue of an angel." So he dresses up as God, goes to the grave, and she sees him. She says, "Oh, Lord, end my misery! Kill me now!" And he said, "Only if you do something for me first." She replied, "What is it, oh mighty Lord?" He said, "Have sex with me." She agreed. They had sex, and when she was done sucking his dick, he said, "I have something to tell you." He took off his costume and said, "I'm the guy from the bus." And she took off her costume: "I'm the bus driver."

(Does anyone remember this? It's an old joke someone made, or does no one remember this? I didn't make this, but it went smth like this)

Why is the graveyard so noisy?

Because of all the coffin : )

What do you call a cemetery of dead Arabs? A mine field.

Sometimes I get jealous when I see a gravestone.

The cemetery is so crowded, people are just dying to get in.

You don't want to know why it takes so long to put a dead woman in a mass-produced coffin in a pre-buried grave dug by machinery that is then filled by mourners.

I put the fun in funeral.

Cemeteries are so popular! People are, like... dying to get there.

A man was walking home but felt tired, so took a short cut through the cemetery. He then heard a tap, tap, then out of the corner of his eye, he saw a man with a hammer hitting the tombstone. The man said, "You scared me. I thought you were a ghost." The other person mumbled, "They spelled my name wrong."

Where does the orphan go when he's done with school? To the cemetery.

I heard this was a really popular funeral home. People are dying to get in.

Did you hear about the cemetery? I heard that people are dying to be there.

Why should you put an orphanage by a cemetery?

So they can always see their parents.

I was gardening and found a chest full of blood... I forgot I was in the cemetery.

Ever looked at a cemetery and thought, wow, Heaven and Hell must be crowded?

Little Johnny likes to play with toy guns.

Little Johnny paints them black.

Little Johnny went to a gun store.

Little Johnny made a big mess.

The cemetery people were getting paid.

Sometime ago I went to the morgue and asked if they took walk-ins.

I got caught fucking a dead body by my family. RIP grandma.

Did you know that if you die you can still be a part of family game night!

All you have to do is have your family cremate you and put you in an hour glass, and the games that use hour glasses, well, you will be a part of family game night.

So my depressed friend wanted to high-five the tree by the cemetery.

The tree left him hanging though.