Cause

Cause Jokes

Lesbian

Do you know the number one cause of death for lesbians?

Getting your fingers stuck in there.

Little Johnny

Mom: Go clean your room, Little Johnny.

Little Johnny: No, it’s my room.

Mom: Well, it’s my house.

Little Johnny: Then go clean it.

Mom: Go to school!

At school:

Teacher: Hi, Little Johnny. You’re late.

Little Johnny: Watch because my son of a bitch mom told me to clean her room. I told her no, it’s my room, and then she said, 'Well, it’s my house.' Then I said, 'Go clean it,' and then she told me to go to school.

Teacher: Johnny, go to the principal’s office! You just came into school and now you're causing trouble. Go!

Ass

Beauty is blind? Ya damn right, 'cause that's what happened when she saw your ass.

Woman

NSFW Why can't women ever tell men where the clitoris is?

'Cause it's a place to eat.

Religion

I heard that cataracts are the third leading cause of blindness...

... the first two being politics and religion.

Orphan

Why do orphans cause trouble at school?

So the teachers will call their parents.

Orphan

Kid: What is an orphan's favorite breakfast?

Teacher: What?

Kid: Fruity Pebbles with water.

Teacher: Why water?

Kid: 'Cause his dad never came back with the milk.

Inch

Your mom's been giving me attitude lately, so I told her to shut her mouth. When she did, it caused me to lose 4 inches.

Bomb

You must be from Pearl Harbor, 'cause baby, you're the bomb!

Salesman

Answering a knock at my door, I see a vacuum cleaner salesman who proceeds to tip a huge bucket of shit all over my carpet, before proclaiming any trace this hoover doesn't remove I will personally eat myself.

"Well, I hope you're hungry," I replied, "'cause they cut off my electric this morning!"

Viagra

What do Viagra and Disneyland have in common?

They both cause you to stand around for an hour waiting for a two-minute ride.

Dad

Me: Do you eat your cereal with water? You: No, why? Me: 'Cause your dad never came back with the milk!