Cant jokes
I aced my poker test...
My teacher asked me to reflect on my work, so I got a mirror...
A caffeinated vampire goes to sleep in a coffin...
Do you get my puns? No, because you can't seem to get a grasp on how bad they are...
Why do trannies have such high rates of suicide?
Because they want everyone to accept them, but they can't accept themselves.
I can't handle these puns...
But I can HAND you some puns!
Budum tiss!
I'm okay with giving babies iPads, as long as the baby has anencephaly.
You can't get brain rot if you don't have a brain!
What kind of work from school can't orphans do?
Homework!
What do you call a rapper who CAN’T GET OUT OF BED IN THE MORNING?
Snooze Dogg.
Why can’t you play Uno with Mexicans?
Because they’ll steal all the green cards.
What do Donald Trump and a dick have in common?
Liberals can't keep either one out of their mouths.
Why can’t American people play chess?
Because they lost their towers.
"If you can't win, lose."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
I can make a living with the "Treat Yo self" budget.
Yet I can’t use the "Help yo self" budget.
Why can't orphans play poker?
They don't know what a full house is.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't get a home run.
What has 30 legs but can't swim?
A bus full of children!
Why can’t orphans build anything?
Because they can’t go to Home Depot.
You’ve really gotta hand it to short people because they usually can’t reach it anyway.
Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because they can't find home.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Why can’t dinosaurs clap? Cuz they are all dead.
Yo ass so fat that you can't see your toes.
When you go to the movies, you take up seven rows.