Cant jokes
Why is it OK to hit an orphan?
Because they can’t tell their parents.
The power of yeet.
I can't do this - YEET!
I'm not good at this - YEET!
I'm not old enough - YEET!
What's black and white and can't turn around in a corridor?
A nun with a javelin through her neck.
What's long, yellow, and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
What can't an orphan spell?
Home.
100% of blind people in Africa can't see. Together, we can stop this.
Why can't orphans have a Christmas list? Because they can't give it to their parents to tell Santa.
Why can’t orphans have a house pet?
Because its parents have it to itself.
You: I want my mama.
Me: Soz, you can't even get one.
What has legs but can't walk?
Don't know? A paralyzed person ;))
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find their way home.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they can't go home.
Bro, you teeth are so yellow that you can't brush your teeth.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Me: MOM, I'm tired.
Mom: Take a nap.
Me: No, I can't sleep if Dad isn't here.
Mom: *hangs picture of dad on her room wall* Well, now you can.
Why do Asians don’t wear contacts? Cause they can’t fitt.
Puerto Rican teen: I'm a waste, a failure, NUNCA LO PODRA ASER (I'll never be able to do it).
The mother: AI NINO (OH CHILD).
The teen: QUE? (WHAT?)
The mother: NO TE PONGA CON ESTA MIELDA OTRAVES! (DON'T START WITH THIS SHIT AGAIN!)
The teen: I CAN'T DO SHIT RIGHT MAMA!
The mother: OOOHHH YEAH WELL TU SI PUEDES ABLAR MIELDA DE TI, I BOTAR BASURA! (YOU SURE CAN TALK CRAP ABOUT YOURSELF AND THROW OUT THE TRASH.)
The teen: QUAL (WHICH).
The mother: MADRE DE DIOS (MOTHER OF GOD).
The teen: AVIA UNA NEGRA I OTRA BLANKA (THERE WAS A BLACK ONE AND WHITE ONE).
*A phone buzzes.*
The teen: Whose phone is that, ma?
Unknown: MR. PRESIDENT IF YOU TAKE AWAY THE CONFEDERATE FLAG HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHO THE BAD WHITE PEOPLE ARE?
*Runs to bag, opens white one and sticks hand in.*
The teen: HAIR GEL
America has white people that are terrorists and racists. They love to blame people from different countries for what they have done.
White person: "We are not terrorists. Why would [we] ever do that in our history?"
The rest of the people: *looks at them stupid* "Y'all were the first motherfuckers to be a terrorist first and then wanting to blame others for your action."
1 person: "You still carrying that confederate flag. It means hatred and [you're] still trying to fight to bring back slaves again. Y'all say it's heritage and not hate, but [you're] clearly still a fucking loser, and your flag has an X [on it, which] means wrong. So... Still a loser. People can't be racist to a racist. It just doesn't make sense. I'm not saying all white people are racist, but I am talking about the ones who voted for Trump and be blind as hell. FUCK DONALD TRUMP AND THE RACIST PEOPLE!"
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
'Cause she's a woman.
No, really. Why can't she drive?
Because she died.
When your husband can’t afford a punching bag, he uses his wife.