Cant jokes
Grandma, I can’t believe I have Alzheimer’s.
One second later, Well at least I don’t have Alzheimer’s.
I still can’t forget that tiny little dead fish in my blue lunchbox.
Why can’t an emo have sex?
They can’t make it to the bed, they kept swinging on the tree.
Why can't orphans play Monopoly?
Because they never get a full house.
Q: Why can't orphans be gay?
A: Because they don't have anyone they can call "Daddy."
Why can’t orphans eat at a family restaurant? Because they don’t have a mom or dad.
Why can't an orphan role-play Star Wars?
Because they have no one to play Darth Vader.
Your forehead is so big that I can’t even see your hairline, and your stupid forehead face.
What part of a vegetable can’t you eat?
The wheelchair. 😑
An orphan can never get a call home from school because they don’t have a home to call.
Why can't an orphan play kickball?
Because they can't hit home.
Why can't orphans go to Family Dollar?
'Cause they don't have a family.
Why can’t an orphan go on a field trip?
'Cause they need a parent's signature.
"Stephen Hawking was talking about a cash register at Costco when he said I can’t stand these people. 😳😳😳😳😳😳 What did he saaaaaaayyyyyyy?"
Boy/girl: I love you.
Me: I love me too! But sorry, my mom said I can't date trash. Go back to the trashcan.
The boy/girl: I- *Is depressed*
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't run home.
Why are orphans so scared of the dark?
The dad can't check the closet for them.
Why are half of the orphans blind? Because they can't find their parents.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home.