Cant jokes
Why can't orphans have sex?
They don't know who daddy is.
An astronaut has had a mid-life crisis. He decides to leave everything behind and become a country farmer.
He buys some land and equips himself with everything he needs. The following Monday, he's ready to go with his hoe in hand and is about to walk out the gate, but he can't get through.
Why, you might ask? He's got no arms.
What does my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.
Why can’t Michael Jackson go more than 500 feet into a school?
Because he’s dead.
Why can’t orphans have sex, my friends? Why? They have none to call daddy.
Why can't dwarfs be depressed?
Because they are compressed.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't run home.
What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A school bus full of children.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t run home.
Why can't a Muslim woman give head to an American cop?
She doesn't eat pigs.
Why can't an orphan be gay? Because they don't have anyone to call "daddy."
Why don't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
I can’t believe it’s been over a year since Kobe decided he’s too good to wait in traffic.
Do you ever wonder why orphans buy small cereal boxes? It's because they can't get family size.
What do you call a titan that can't swim?
TITANic
Your forehead is so big when you walk by I can't see what's in front of me.
What part of a vegetable can't you eat?
The wheelchair.
What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can't hear an enzyme.
America has white people that are terrorists and racists. They love to blame people from different countries for what they have done.
White person: "We are not terrorists. Why would [we] ever do that in our history?"
The rest of the people: *looks at them stupid* "Y'all were the first motherfuckers to be a terrorist first and then wanting to blame others for your action."
1 person: "You still carrying that confederate flag. It means hatred and [you're] still trying to fight to bring back slaves again. Y'all say it's heritage and not hate, but [you're] clearly still a fucking loser, and your flag has an X [on it, which] means wrong. So... Still a loser. People can't be racist to a racist. It just doesn't make sense. I'm not saying all white people are racist, but I am talking about the ones who voted for Trump and be blind as hell. FUCK DONALD TRUMP AND THE RACIST PEOPLE!"
A husband comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network. The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can’t cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can’t fuck."