Cant jokes
You can tune a guitar, but you can’t tuna fish.
What's yellow all over and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
Little Johnny walks out to the garage and sees Dad smoking a cigarette. He asks, "Hey Dad, can I have a puff of that cigarette?" Dad asks, "Well, Johnny, can your dick reach your ass?" Little Johnny scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment. He then replies, "Well, no, Dad, my dick can't reach my ass." His Dad says, "There's your answer, Johnny..." Little Johnny goes back in the house.
About an hour later, Little Johnny comes back out to the garage and sees his Dad drinking a beer. He asks, "Hey Dad, can I have some of that beer?" Dad asks, "Well, Johnny, can your dick reach your ass?" Little Johnny scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment. He then replies, "Well, no, Dad, my dick can't reach my ass." His Dad says, "There's your answer, Johnny..." Little Johnny goes back in the house.
About an hour later, Little Johnny comes back out to the garage with a big plate of Tollhouse Chocolate Chip cookies, fresh from the oven. His Dad says, "Wow, Johnny, those sure look like some good cookies. You think I can have some?" Little Johnny asks his Dad, "Well Dad, can your dick reach your ass?" His Dad scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment. He then replies, "Well, yes, Johnny, I do believe my dick can reach my ass." Little Johnny says, "Well, Dad, you can go FUCK yourself, cuz Mom made these cookies for me!!!"
What is an emo's most hated game? Hangman.
Because it's rubbing it in their face that they can't hang themselves.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
Can’t remember if I posted this in my discord or here, but enjoy!
Your mama is so fat, you can't tell if she's pregnant or not.
Why can't orphans have sex?
They don't know who daddy is.
What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?
Suck a big dick.
Jesus can’t judge gay people, because he got nailed before he died.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
Why can't orphans have a funeral? Because their parents won't be there.
What do Asians and John Cena have in common? You can't see me!
What is an orphan's least favorite store?
Family Dollar, they just can’t seem to find one.
Most of the people here: That's not funny, lots of people died.
Bruh, why are you in here if you can't take a joke?
Why can't Michael Jackson come within 500 meters of a school?
Because he's dead. 😁
I can't believe the suicide hotline put my cousin on hold. They left him hanging.
Why can’t Stephen Hawking go to heaven?
Because it’s a stairway to heaven, not a ramp.
Why can't Stephen Hawking go to heaven?
'Cause he'd walk up the stairs!
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because he can't find home.
Why can't orphans get five stars in GTA?
Because they're not wanted.