Cant jokes
You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friends' noses.
Does it cycle now? 🚲
Why can't orphans buy chips?
Because they're family sized!
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?
Of course it can, a house can't jump.
Why can't orphans play sports?
They don't know what a home team is.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Cause they don’t know where home is.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where the home is.
So, me and my girlfriend that I just got 7 weeks ago, we’re in class. We had this sub named Mrs. Bellatrix.
We both raised our hands and she called on both of us.
Me: First of all, are we in kindergarten? We can’t be doing 4x4 kinda stuff.
Leah: And also, are you from Harry Potter?
What type of bow can't be tied?
Rainbow.
What’s the worst thing about having a daughter with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.
Your so broke your mom can't afford your daddy.
In the hospital, I saw a girl with cancer trying to sleep. The ICU was going beep beep beep. I think that's why she can't sleep, so I turned it off. She's asleep forever now. Nighty night.
Why can't an orphan watch T.V.?
Because it can't find the home button.
Why can't you teach an orphan new tricks?
Because there is no one to teach them.
Handicapped jokes are so cruel.
I can't stand them!
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
They both can't see their parents.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
They have nobody to call "daddy."
What song can't orphans sing?
"Sweet Home Alabama."
Why can't orphans breathe? They are drowning in their own tears.
Why can’t Santa have kids?
He only cums once a year.
*Coughs roughly* Oh my God, it hurts so much. I can't see. It burns! Help!!! Help!!! Help!!! Help!!! *Weakly*