Cant jokes
Why can’t orphans play baseball??
Because they can’t find their way to home plate.
I can NOT take any responsibility and credit for this, it just said what's your favourite joke so I'm writing it in favor of them: A man needs to leave for a lengthy business trip, but his wife is saddened by this. She explains to him that if he isn’t home every night, there will be no way to satisfy herself if she feels horny.
The man claims that she doesn’t need sex, because a dildo should work just fine. He quickly runs to the local gift shop and asks the cashier if the store carries anything really special. The cashier quietly pulls out an old box, and removes a wooden penis from inside. The cashier states that the dildo has been passed down in his family for generations, and was crafted by a witch deep within the Amazon jungle. The cashier sits up in his chair and shouts “Voodoo Dick, the door!” The wooden penis flies across the room, and begins to rapidly thrust itself in and out of the front door keyhole. “Voodoo Dick, the lamp!” The wooden penis flies up inside of the lamp on the cashier’s desk, and once again, begins to thrust in and out. “Voodoo Dick, return to your box!” The wooden penis flies back into the box and the cashier closes the lid. The man chooses to buy the wooden penis, and just as he is about to leave, the cashier tells him a very important bit of information regarding the Voodoo Dick: “The cursed dildo can only be controlled through verbal commands, it is far too powerful to be moved by hand,” says the cashier. “You must never forget that!” The man nods and heads home.
Later that day, the man explains to his wife how the sex toy works, and then leaves for his trip. A few days later, the wife becomes very horny, and opens up the box. She proceeds to shout “Voodoo Dick, my pussy!” The dildo zooms into her vagina, and pleasures her for roughly 6-8 hours. She soon begins to grow tired, and attempts to pull the dildo out of her. She pulls as hard as she can, but just can’t get it it. The wife panicks, and begins driving to the hospital with the wooden penis still inside of her vagina. A police officer pulls her over for speeding, and asks to see some identification. The wife exclaims “Help, help, there is a Voodoo Dick inside of my vagina and it won’t come out!” The officer raises an eyebrow in disbelief. “Voodoo Dick my ass, bitch.”
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
Because she’ll let it goo!
Why can’t trans men enjoy chocolate?
It uses Hershey pronouns.
Stephen Hawking isn't dead, he's just can't walk to the shop and get new batteries. 🙄
You are so fat Bob the Builder said, "I can't fix it!" LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
His name rhymes with walking and talking, but he can’t do either.
This one time I said that John Cena looks like crap.
But I realized I can't see him. LOL!
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home plate.
They have a new line of socks for paraplegics. They are so comfortable they can't even feel them.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they won't find anybody to call "daddy."
What do dead people and orphans have in common? They can't see their family.
Why can't an orphan be gay? They have no one to call "daddy."
Man, this walk is really good. Oh wait, you can't.
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
Don't be stupid, feminists can't change anything.
What sucks about disabled people?
They can't stand up for themselves.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
So a girl says to her ex, "I can't get you out of my mind, the boyfriend I knew." The girl replies, "I see you in everything, like when I'm walking down the street, even at work, like trash cans are everywhere."
Why can't orphans go on a field trip?
They need their parents' permission. 😆😆😆😆😆😆
Why can't you give Elsa a balloon?
She will let it go!! 😂🤣