Cant jokes
Big Mom is so fat, Trafalgar Law can’t make enough room for her!
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can't unscrew a pregnant woman.
What's a similarity between a broken lightbulb and a pregnant woman?
They're both accidents.
What’s the difference between chocolate and people?
You can’t buy people nowadays.
Why can't an orphan be gay?
They have no one to call daddy.
North Korea and the Martians were fighting about who was going to reach Venus first.
Trump steps in and says, "That doesn't matter, America is going to land on the sun first."
The Martians and North Korea said, "You can't land on the sun, it's too hot and you will die."
Trump said his brilliant plan, "America is going to land there at night."
Why can't orphans play on a computer?
'Cause they have no motherboard.
Why can't Chinese people play baseball?
Because they eat the bat.
Why can't Stephen Hawking be a Rocket League car? Because he can't jump for an aerial.
Why can’t orphans go on “go big or go home?”
Cuz they’d always have to go big as they have no home.
What is yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of kids.
Why do orphans hate Costco? Because they can't get in and try the free samples.
Why can't Asians play baseball?
Because they ate all the bats!
Why can't orphans go on game shows?
You need a family member.
Why can't orphans go to family restaurants?
Because they don't have a family to go with.
Why can't orphans go on field trips?
There's no parent signature.
Why can't orphans play online games? Because they don't have parents to sign them up.
One day, the teacher asks a boy, "Why can't fish talk underwater?"
The kid says, "If I put your head underwater, will you be able to talk?"
Why can’t orphanage kids play baseball?
Cause they don’t know where home is.
Seeing one of her students making faces at others in the playground, Mrs. Matthews stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the teacher said, "When I was a child, I was told if I made ugly faces I would stay like that."
The student looked up and replied, "Well, you can’t say you weren’t warned, Mrs. Matthews!"
Three strangers have opened a gay chat; but if one left the chat, the chat would be closed.
Stranger 3: How to turn a straight guy into a gay guy?
Stranger 1: You can't!
Stranger 2: You can.
Stranger 3: How?
Stranger 2: By using the same idea of the Russian experiment; like in a detention, put him in a closed room full of gay stuff, but the difference is that he can sleep, and he will have food for 30 days and a toilet, too.
Stranger 3: Great idea, but who can we try first?
Stranger 1: You all gays are evil monsters.
Stranger 2: I think the stranger 1 is just a straight spy. Let's try this experi-
(The chat has been closed by stranger 1)