Cant jokes

Racist

    • America has white people that are terrorists and racists. They love to blame people from different countries for what they have done.

    White person: "We are not terrorists. Why would [we] ever do that in our history?"

    The rest of the people: *looks at them stupid* "Y'all were the first motherfuckers to be a terrorist first and then wanting to blame others for your action."

    1 person: "You still carrying that confederate flag. It means hatred and [you're] still trying to fight to bring back slaves again. Y'all say it's heritage and not hate, but [you're] clearly still a fucking loser, and your flag has an X [on it, which] means wrong. So... Still a loser. People can't be racist to a racist. It just doesn't make sense. I'm not saying all white people are racist, but I am talking about the ones who voted for Trump and be blind as hell. FUCK DONALD TRUMP AND THE RACIST PEOPLE!"

    Parent

    • Hey guys, it's Hailey here.

    I'ma start off with henlo ;-;

    I know you guys aren't going to believe me because of the assholes who were faking to be me, but if you can try to believe me, I'll explain.

    So, Jake, we can't really be together anymore, since we no longer can chat. I'm so sorry.

    Basically, my parents caught us on here as you realized. Yayyyy.

    I don't have time to say anything else. So I've gotta go, but thankyou guys for everything you did for me.

    Also, you won't get any response from me so yea. So sorry guys ;-;

    Cant memes

    Orphan

    • Why can't orphans see all these jokes on this website that we're posting?

    'Cause they don't know where the home page is.

    Peanut

    • So, I remember growing my own peanuts really well. There's one that's larger than the others. I can't keep my eye off of it.

    I'm scared that it moves at night.

    I'm being serious. I literally can't keep my eye off it.

    Dwarf

    • Can’t believe how ungrateful my dwarf next-door neighbor is. I saw him waiting at the bus stop earlier today and offered to give him a lift, but he told me to “fuck off.” In the end, I decided to just close my rucksack and walk away.

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    • Friend

    • I was staying over at my friend's; for the purpose of the joke, he shall be called Kian. It was 03:00 am and everyone else was asleep when I heard a soft banging on the wall. I left the room to inspect it. Kian lived with his grandad John Hauge; it was thought he had a huge slong.

    The banging was getting louder, and so too was my heartbeat. I opened John's door and ventured into the room. John was fully naked. There was a glory hole through the wall where I could make it Kian's ass. This is what I have been waiting for. I rip off my shorts, which Ali G bought for me, and silently moved towards John. I shoved [my] 1-inch wonder in his ear. John furiously turned around and slapped me with his cock, "You little gimp, get on the bed."

    Kian came in the room with a 2-litre bottle of Irn Bru. He demanded, "What the fudge are you doing?"

    I replied smoothly, "Kian, you tracksuit warrior, you have a camel toe!"

    Kian fires back, "Shut it, Paul, you have genital warts!"

    John screams, "SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

    He then gives us it so rough I can't walk the next day, but [I] feel pleasured for eternity.

    By Lewis

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    • Crush

    • My mom is a chemistry teacher.

    Mom: You can’t be attracted to something without it being attracted to you back.

    Me: Tell that to my FUCKING CRUSH, BITCH!

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    • Banana

    • It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It's true.

    I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.

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