Cant jokes
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
Q: Why are orphans bad at baseball?
A: They can’t find home.
A friend called me a while back saying, "I have COVID.... I can't breathe, I really have a hard time breathing."
I reply saying, "Dude, you need to work on your George Floyd jokes."
Why can’t pedophiles ever win races? Because they are always coming in a little behind.
What can you give a white person that you can't give to a black person?
A black eye.
A drunk walks into a bar and sees a beautiful woman at the other end of the bar and says, "Bartender, I want to buy that douchebag a drink."
The bartender says, "You can't talk like that! This is a respectable establishment, I'm going to throw you out!"
The drunk says, "Okay, I'm sorry. I'd like to buy the lady a drink."
The bartender goes to where the woman is sitting and says, "The, ah, gentleman at the end of the bar would like to buy you a drink, what will it be?"
She says, "Vinegar and water."
I can’t stand disabled jokes...
Neither can they 😂
Why can't orphans get a home run?
Because they have no home to run to.
Bro, you teeth are so yellow that you can't brush your teeth.
A man walks to the window and opens it and pulls out his phone and takes a photo. "One more picture and I'll jump." He takes another photo and shuts the window. "I can't jump, you're not supposed to throw trash out the window."
What is the worst combination of illnesses?
Alzheimer’s and diarrhea. You’re running but can’t remember where.
Why can't depressed people leave the maze?
Because their lives are the walls and they are too scared to meet the exit.
Q: Why can’t Jesus make fun of gay people?
A: He got nailed first.
Some boy says 100000 digits of pi, and this other dude can't even remember the 1st one.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Cause they have to hit a home run.
Why are orphans so scared of the dark?
The dad can't check the closet for them.
Your hairline's so far back that Dora the Explorer couldn't find it.
Q: Why can't science be combined with religion?
A: 'Cause science creates skyscrapers and planes, while religion combines them.
One day, the Pope is coming to America in his limo, and he said to the driver, "Why don’t you let me drive for once?"
The driver thinks to himself, "Well, I can’t say no to this guy; he’s the Pope." So the driver pulls over, and they change places. The Pope was having fun, hauling butt down the freeway, dogging cars. After a while, the driver taps on the window and tells the Pope, "Slow down a bit; you might get pulled over."
The Pope says, "Ahhh, don’t worry about it; I’m the Pope." So he rolls up the window and continues to drive very fast. After a few moments, he gets pulled over. The cop walks to the car, and the Pope rolls down the tinted window. The cop sees the Pope and says, "Oh, I, ehhh, sorry, can you hold on a minute?"
The Pope says, "Sure." The cop walks back to his car and radios back to the station. He says, "Guys, I just pulled over someone really important."
They ask who, "The President?"
"No, more important."
"The president of another country?"
"No, more important."
"An ambassador?"
"No, even more important."
"Well, who is it?"
"I don’t know, but the Pope is the chauffeur."
Why can't an orphan go to a family reunion?
It has no family.