Cant jokes
What’s the difference between 9/11 and a cow?
You can’t milk a cow for 15 years.
Why can't America play chess?
They're already missing 2 towers.
Girl: "Hey, why don't you come over?"
Guy: "I can't. Cops are looking for me, they say I killed 2 people."
Girl: "C'mon, my parents aren't home."
Guy: "About that..."
Your mom is so fat that she can't get internet because she is worldwide.
Why can’t mental hospitals have Halloween?
Because the patients thought the pumpkins were them. I tried.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can never get a home run. 😭
My name is Bishal Khan and I can't walk.
Why can't Kobe go shopping?
He's dead.
What kind of videos can't orphans watch?
Family-friendly content.
Tj's hairline is so far back, Blue's Clues can't find it.
Why can't my grandma talk?
Because she's dead.
What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?
Nothing, because fish can't talk.
Why can't Chinese people play baseball?
They eat the bat.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is.
Why is the blind kid popular?
He can't see the middle fingers.
I told this man to rev his vehicle.
Didn't know wheelchairs can't rev.
Why does a blind man still have eyes?
So he can see that he can't see.
Why is the blind man so close to the door?
He can't see it.
Why did the blind man cross the road?
Don't ask me, he can't even see where he's going.
Little Johnny’s father walks into the bathroom and catches him masturbating. He says, “Son, every time you do that, you kill an innocent baby.”
The next day, his father walks into the bathroom and catches him again. Johnny says, “Bow your head, Dad. Can’t you see we’re having a funeral?”