Cant jokes
Why does a blind man still have eyes?
So he can see that he can't see.
Why is the blind man so close to the door?
He can't see it.
Why did the blind man cross the road?
Don't ask me, he can't even see where he's going.
Little Johnny’s father walks into the bathroom and catches him masturbating. He says, “Son, every time you do that, you kill an innocent baby.”
The next day, his father walks into the bathroom and catches him again. Johnny says, “Bow your head, Dad. Can’t you see we’re having a funeral?”
Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, “Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that.”
Little Johnny looked up and replied, “Well, Ms Smith, you can’t say you weren’t warned!”
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't make a home run.
Why can't Asians make a white baby?
Cause two wongs don't make a white.
What do you do after raping a deaf mute eight-year-old girl? Smash the little bitch's hands with a hammer so she can't tell her mum.
I saw this advert in a window that said: “Television for sale, £1, volume stuck on full.” I thought, “I can’t turn that down.”
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They never reach home.
Why can't depressed people make depression jokes? Because they can't talk if they are dead.
Why can't orphans make dad jokes? Because they don't have one.
Why can't orphans play basketball?
They don't know where home is.
Michael Jackson broke his window. What does he say? "I can't see."
What do you do if your online friend wants to commit suicide? You can't do anything, he's already on line.
A Russian, a Brit, and a terrorist are in an air balloon.
First, the Russian says, "I dare to throw a stone down!" So he does that, but the others don't seem to be impressed. So the Brit says, "I dare to throw a brick down!" So again he does that, the Russian is impressed, but the terrorist laughs and says, "I dare to throw a bomb down!" So he does that and everybody can't believe what they have just seen. So a bit further, they land, and a shocked and afraid little boy comes running up to them. So they ask what happened, on which the little boy said, "I farted and my school exploded."
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find their home base.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't hit a home run.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
They can't see their family.
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.