Cant jokes
Why can't orphans watch PG movies? Because they are parental guidance.
If you cut off your head, you can't breathe.
You also can't breathe if you die.
So why isn't it debreathiation?
Someone eats glue and tells the other, "Sorry, can't stick around!"
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl pee? Because the "p" is silent.
Why can't the skeleton go to the prom?
Because he had no-BODY to go with!
What part of a vegetable can't you eat?
The wheelchair.
It's so sad that Stephen Hawking can't stand up for himself.
Why can't cheetahs run forever? Because they run out of breath!
Why can't you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
What did the lampost say to the other lampost?
Nothing, because it can't speak.
If you ever get mad at a person that crumpled their leg, don't forget that they can hide, but they can't run.
This is a big joke, so yeah, you can't tell me what to do. This joke is funny, so laugh, okay?
Now that you're done laughing, let me say a joke... Get it? There was no joke! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahhahhaha lololol so funny, I'm ninja!
My brother can't wait for spring... he wet his plants!
Teacher: "You can't be here after school without a parent!"
Orphan: -no response-
Mom: You need to grow up. You're so immature.
Me: *glares* Get out of my castle....
Mom: It's a pillow fort.
Me: Why can't I have an imagination! ?
Mom: You're almost 19 years old.
Me: Not good enough... OUT!
Me: What's yellow and can't swim?
My sister: What??
Me: A school bus filled with kids.
Why can't vampires tell jokes right? All their jokes just SUCK.
What do you give a armless kid for Christmas?
Nothing because they can't open the gift.
My hips can't move, but Heineken.