Cant jokes
Why can’t orphans learn about ancient Egypt?
Because they wouldn’t know what a mummy is.
Can you go as a horse for Halloween?
Well, if you do, I can't wait to ride you!
I went up to the blind kid and said, "Can you get that for me?" and he said, "I can't, I'm blind." And so I said, "I see."
Why can't you get water in the North Pole?
Because there is no well.
Why can't an Asian play baseball?
'Cause they always eat the bat!
Why can’t Michael Jackson get within 500 meters of a school?
Cause he’s dead.
Why can't orphans ride a bike?
'Cause their parents won't follow them.
I can't stand disability jokes.
You're so ugly whenever you say hi, people walk away and say that you were too ugly, and they go take a bath right away because you're so stinky.
They say that you look like your mama. Wait, your mama must be just like you because I can see her way from a mile!
You say you put on perfume, but every time I smell you, you smell like poo-poo. You're so ugly that when your mom looks in the mirror, you cry. You're so stupid the second-grade teacher had to tell you to go all the way to kindergarten. Head Start is every grade below you. You can't even go to the 20th grade, which stands for 9th grade. You can't even go to grocery stores, and people that tell you that you're so ugly give you compliments just to make you feel better. You know that everybody just likes you just because they just don't want to hurt your feelings, so just stay in your mind. Hey, you want to text Matt; you know it was you because every time you see you, you think that you matter. Matter fact, he doesn't even like you; he just wants your money girl. Who even likes you? 😈😈
What part of a vegetable can't you eat? The wheelchair.
The police department made a new machine that will teleport you back to prison if you commit a crime. The police release 4 criminals: a hacker, a rapist, a serial killer, and a drug lord. The hacker tries to hack a bank. The hacker gets teleported back to prison. The drug lord tries to cook meth. The drug lord gets teleported back to prison. Now the serial killer decides that she wants to change, but when she sees a knife she just can’t help it. She bends down to pick up the knife and the rapist gets teleported back to prison.
When you think you can’t fail anymore if you’re dead, then you fail at suiciding.
Why can’t the orphan play baseball?
They don’t know where home is.
I asked the gym instructor,
"Can you teach me to do the splits?"
"How flexible are you?" he asked.
"Well, I can't make it on Fridays."
Why can't an orphan make a home run in baseball?
Because they have no home to go to.
Why can't orphans play soccer?
They can't kick.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they won't know where home plate is.
Why can't the orphan play baseball? Because they can't find home.
What's the difference between a pregnant girl and a light bulb?
... You can unscrew a light bulb, but you can't unscrew a pregnant girl.
What's a bonus of being an orphan?
You can't get homework.