Cant jokes
What part of a vegetable can't you eat? The wheelchair.
The police department made a new machine that will teleport you back to prison if you commit a crime. The police release 4 criminals: a hacker, a rapist, a serial killer, and a drug lord. The hacker tries to hack a bank. The hacker gets teleported back to prison. The drug lord tries to cook meth. The drug lord gets teleported back to prison. Now the serial killer decides that she wants to change, but when she sees a knife she just can’t help it. She bends down to pick up the knife and the rapist gets teleported back to prison.
When you think you can’t fail anymore if you’re dead, then you fail at suiciding.
Why can’t the orphan play baseball?
They don’t know where home is.
I asked the gym instructor,
"Can you teach me to do the splits?"
"How flexible are you?" he asked.
"Well, I can't make it on Fridays."
Why can't an orphan make a home run in baseball?
Because they have no home to go to.
Why can't orphans play soccer?
They can't kick.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they won't know where home plate is.
Why can't the orphan play baseball? Because they can't find home.
What's the difference between a pregnant girl and a light bulb?
... You can unscrew a light bulb, but you can't unscrew a pregnant girl.
What's a bonus of being an orphan?
You can't get homework.
Handicapped jokes are so cruel.
I can't stand them!
Why do orphans eat an ice cream cone?? They can't afford a family pack.
Why can orphans not play bingo?
Because they can't get a full house.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they don't know where home is.
Yo mama is so fat she can't even get in her own car because she's fat.
Why can't orphans go to the store? Because they throw everything around.
Yo mama's teeth so yellow, I can't believe it's not butter!
Why can't orphans be gay?
'Cause they have no one to call "daddy."
Why are lesbians so bad at math? They can't multiply.