Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
I can't see the bee.
It's by the beehive.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of screaming children.
Why can't dinosaurs talk?
'Cause they're dead.
To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket, "You can hide but you can't run."
Why can't you fool an aborted fetus?
Because it wasn't born yesterday.
Q: Why can't Helen Keller drive?
A: Because she's a woman.
Why can't I drink tea??
Because I laugh too much. TEEEEEHEHEEE
If you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?
Sorry guys, I tried. I tried harder this time. I'll try again. Sorry, I can't delete things.
A man came running into a hospital saying, "Doctor, Doctor! I can't feel my legs!"
The doctor replied, "I know I amputated your arms!"
I got pranked so many times. Once I saw two wheels rolling down the street. I heard this noise. I looked behind me. There's a legless man in a wheelless chair screaming, "HELP! I CAN'T GO ANYWHERE!" but I walked away. I knew it was a prank.
Literally no one: Why can't you hear the pterodactyl?
Random person: I don't know.
No one: BECAUSE THEY ARE EXTINCT!
Random person: Ha, cool, I guess.
I'm doing something Stephen Hawking can't do... pressing "I'm not a robot."
I can't stop thinking about those beans.
What is long, yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
Why can't orphans watch PG movies? Because they are parental guidance.
If you cut off your head, you can't breathe.
You also can't breathe if you die.
So why isn't it debreathiation?
Someone eats glue and tells the other, "Sorry, can't stick around!"
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl pee? Because the "p" is silent.
Why can't the skeleton go to the prom?
Because he had no-BODY to go with!
