Cant jokes
There's a new cooking programme on BBC1. The contestants are victims of domestic violence. It's called "Can't Cook... Right Hook."
What's an orphan's favorite food? Nothing, they can't afford it.
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
Because she's a woman? No, seriously, why can't she drive? Because she's dead.
Why are orphans bad at baseball? Because they can't go home.
Why can't two Asians make a white baby?
Because two wongs don't make a white.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
I can't see the bee.
It's by the beehive.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of screaming children.
Why can't dinosaurs talk?
'Cause they're dead.
To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket, "You can hide but you can't run."
Why can't you fool an aborted fetus?
Because it wasn't born yesterday.
Q: Why can't Helen Keller drive?
A: Because she's a woman.
Why can't I drink tea??
Because I laugh too much. TEEEEEHEHEEE
If you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?
Sorry guys, I tried. I tried harder this time. I'll try again. Sorry, I can't delete things.
A man came running into a hospital saying, "Doctor, Doctor! I can't feel my legs!"
The doctor replied, "I know I amputated your arms!"
I got pranked so many times. Once I saw two wheels rolling down the street. I heard this noise. I looked behind me. There's a legless man in a wheelless chair screaming, "HELP! I CAN'T GO ANYWHERE!" but I walked away. I knew it was a prank.
Literally no one: Why can't you hear the pterodactyl?
Random person: I don't know.
No one: BECAUSE THEY ARE EXTINCT!
Random person: Ha, cool, I guess.
I'm doing something Stephen Hawking can't do... pressing "I'm not a robot."
I can't stop thinking about those beans.
What is long, yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.