Why can't a T-Rex clap?
He's dead.
Cant Jokes
I'm like a rubber because people hit me as I can't feel.
They said I couldn't drive.
Now they know I can't cause they are all dead.
Q: Why can't skeletons go to the dance?
A: He doesn't have the guts for it.
I can't believe my friends. They killed themselves without me!
The only hood I like is pointy and white.
That's why I can't trust people when I don't see their face at night.
Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?
Because when she gets to 69 there's a frog in her throat.
Why do you make fun of disabled people?
They can't stand up for themselves.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because it's not original at all.
Why is an orphan so bad at baseball?
Because they can't make it to home.
Friend: I have the eye of the tiger.
Me: So what? I have the balls of a gorilla.
Parents: We can't come back to the zoo next week!
Why can't you play poker in the jungle? Because there are too many cheetahs!
Why can't orphans play baseball? They can't find their parents.
Stairs.
Stephen Hawking can't stand stairs.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
...You can't call it anything. It won't come to you.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they don't know where home is.
So a mushroom walks in a bar and the waiter says, "You can't be here."
And the mushroom says, "Why? I'm a fungi!"
How do you make a blond snowman? You can't, you have to hollow out the head.
Using modern day technology you can produce music with a Tesla coil. I don't know if you heard it, but it is quite shocking and even electrifying. I can't tell if it is metal or techno, but it is more valuable than joules. It really amps up your blood pressure and has you saying watt the whole time. It is way better than current music.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down!
