Canning jokes

Time

I can make 9/11 jokes, but every time I do, they crash and burn.

Difference

What is the difference between a drug dealer and a prostitute?

A prostitute can wash their crack and resell it.

Orphan

What is an orphan's favorite game? Sims, so they can make a family to have.

Kamikaze

What did the kamikaze instructor say to the students?

"Okay guys, watch very carefully because I can only show you this demonstration once."

Memes

Polar Bear

Can anyone answer this riddle? Apparently this is the world's hardest riddle! Good luck 😝

“I turn polar bears white, and I will make you cry. I make guys have to pee, and girls comb their hair. I make celebrities look stupid, and normal people look like celebrities.”

Orphan

What do blind kids and orphans have in common?

Neither of 'em can see their parents.

Muslim

Finally, some social platform where you can talk about Muslims and not get bombed.

Obv, unless you share your residence.

Kid

What's the worst thing that can happen to schools?

Quiet kids.

Pool

I heard a neat little trick you can use to have a public pool all to yourself. If you blow a whistle 3 times, everyone will just get out!

Trash Can

Why aren't apple chargers called apple juice? Also, how do you throw away trash cans?

Pen

I brought a new pen that can write underwater. It can also write other words.

Dagger

Dagger. This is to get your attention, for Dagger Jr. and I. We'd like to speak with you, and possibly Lynx, if we can find a time to all talk.

Orphan

What’s the difference between orphans and blind children?

None. Neither can see their parents.

Marriage

My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest, telling her we can get married once she makes her way out.