Canning jokes

9 year olds can consent. That’s like 18 divided by 2.

What store can an orphan never find?

Home Depot.

"Honey, let's not go so deep into the woods, please. I'm starting to get scared."

"It's easy for you to talk. I can go back alone right now!"

Why did the orphan jump off of bridge?

So they can reunite with their dead family.

What holiday can an orphan not celebrate?

Mother's Day and Father's Day.

Why is it okay to hit an orphan?

It's not like it can tell its parents.

What's the difference between a light bulb and a woman?

You can screw and unscrew a light bulb, but you can't unscrew a woman.

Why do orphans go to church?

So they can call someone father!

Why was the Orphan boy gay?

So he can call someone Daddy.

What's the difference between Batman and a Black man???

Batman can go out at night without Robin.

Why is a ghost so predictable?

Because you can see right through it.

How many push-ups can Chuck Norris do?

All of them.

Why can Elsa hold a balloon? She will "Let It Go"!

Why is it so hard to make friends in Antarctica?

Because you cannot break the ice.

Cop: "I'm arresting you for downloading the entire Wikipedia."

Man: "Wait! I can explain everything!"

Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?

So you can tell them apart from the feminists.

Doctor: "I am so sorry, I cannot see you today."

Orphan: "Oh, okay. What about tomorrow?"

Doctor: "No, I can't see you ever."

Orphan: "Why?"

Doctor: "Because I am a family doctor."

What’s the difference between my ex and a unicycle?

A unicycle can only take one person at a time.

Na, don't be mean to fat people. Oh wait, never mind, they can handle the weight.

Two terrorists walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What can I get you?"

The terrorists both say, "A beer."

The bartender overhears them talking about how they will kill 300 people and a donkey. The bartender says, "Why a donkey?"

One terrorist says, "See, I told you no one would care about the people!"