Canning Jokes

What is the smartest month?

April - No one can fool it.

Rizz

Are you a basketball hoop? 'Cause I want to put my balls in you.

Are you a photo biographer? 'Cause I can picture us together.

All rape can be prevented. It's just a matter of semantics.

What does Osama bin Laden have in common with Spongebob?

Both can be found at the bottom of the sea, filled full of holes.

Why do orphans wanna be a criminal?

So that they can be wanted.

The image is split into two panels. The top panel shows a person with short pink hair and glasses saying 'THERE ARE 76 GENDERS'. The bottom panel shows Rick Harrison from Pawn Stars, looking at the camera and saying 'BEST I CAN DO IS 2'.

Fun fact! You can hold your breath till the rest of your life.

So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods.

The boy turns to the man and says, "Hey mister, it's getting dark out, and I’m scared... Can we go back now?"

So the man says: "How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone!"

Can February march? -- No, but April may.

What can you tell a dog, but not your girlfriend? Come.

Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump.

Q: How can you tell that a pedophile likes music?

A: He rapes D minor.

So, a guy is evading the draft. The cops bang on his door, and he runs out the back, through an alleyway onto a road. He finds a nun and asks if he can hide under her blouse. She complies, and the cops walk by and don't see them. The man comes back up from under the nun's blouse and says, "Hey man, you've got a pair of balls!" The nun says, "I didn't wanna be drafted either..."