What kind of birthday cake do you get on September 11th?
Three small ones, so you can have a flight of different cake flavors!
Why is your forehead so shiny? Did somebody laminate you? You're so shiny, Mulan can look into your forehead and sing "Reflection."
What’s yellow and can swim a bus full of kids
Whats the difference between Jesus and and a picture of jesus
You can hang the picture with one nail
How can you tell if a man is straight? You don't have to, he will tell you.
The good thing about being gay in school is that you can be the best student and still get all the D's.
What can run, be an eyesore, and practice social distancing?
Your hairline.
A Catholic priest finds a young boy crying at the top of a cliff.
“What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
The boy points down. “Mummy and Daddy were in the car and it went over the edge.”
The priest can see the flaming wreck below. He looks around and sees no one else is about and starts to unbutton his belt.
“It’s really not your day, is it?”
I heard a motivational quote saying faith can move mountains, but faith cannot move your receding hairline.
Hey dude, can you spell IHOP?
Sure, man. I. H. O. P.
Wait, you ate my pee!!!
If a black person calls you a cracker, let them say it. You can say things they can't say, like, "Thanks for the warning, officer!"
Hey guys, it's Hailey here.
I'ma start off with henlo ;-;
I know you guys aren't going to believe me because of the assholes who were faking to be me, but if you can try to believe me, I'll explain.
So, Jake, we can't really be together anymore, since we no longer can chat. I'm so sorry.
Basically, my parents caught us on here as you realized. Yayyyy.
I don't have time to say anything else. So I've gotta go, but thankyou guys for everything you did for me.
Also, you won't get any response from me so yea. So sorry guys ;-;
Why do orphans love going to church...
Because they can call someone father
Q: Why can kids relate to dogs?
A: They are noticed for 13 years, then left for no one to touch again.
I can make 9/11 jokes, but every time I do, they crash and burn.
Did you know that you can die from laughing? Well, that’s why I laugh so much.
Why do Emos love Christmas? So they can pretend they're ornaments and hang themselves on trees. Hope you liked it, happy holidays!
What's an orphan's least favorite show? Family Guy ;)
It’s not like they can watch it anyway: it’s PG.
can a guy in a wheelchair be a stand up comedian?
Daughter: Hey Dad, can I use your car?
Dad: Sure, but first you have to give me a blow job."
Daughter: Okay, (proceeds to service dad). Dad, ewww, your dick tastes like shite!"
Dad: Oh, that's right, I lent your brother the car.
