Canning jokes
For some reason, my mom likes to lick and suck on hotdogs. As a son, can anyone tell me why?
For some reason, when my mom eats hot dogs, she likes to lick and suck on it first. As a son, can anyone tell me why?
Michael proved anything is possible in America. Where else can a poor black boy grow up to be a rich white woman?
I asked the gym instructor,
"Can you teach me to do the splits?"
"How flexible are you?" he asked.
"Well, I can't make it on Fridays."
What do you do if you see someone raping your girlfriend? Help out. There is no way she can fight both of you. Then, find the poor man a lawyer.
You're so bald, I can see what's on your mind.
Your hairline is so deep people can see what you're thinking.
What's the difference between a pregnant girl and a light bulb?
... You can unscrew a light bulb, but you can't unscrew a pregnant girl.
What do you call a hamburger that can talk and walk?
Funny weird walkie hamburger and talkie cute hamburger. Lol.
I can find the end of time before I find your hairline.
Where can you donate an aborted fetus?
Your local pizzeria.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a bucket of water.
WHERE DO THEY REALLY GO BECAUSE WATER CAN NOT BE AT THE TOP OF A HILL!?. I honestly think that only people with a physics degree can make nursery rhythms.
Why can orphans not play bingo?
Because they can't get a full house.
What kind of birthday cake do you get on September 11th?
Three small ones, so you can have a flight of different cake flavors!
Why is your forehead so shiny? Did somebody laminate you? You're so shiny, Mulan can look into your forehead and sing "Reflection."
What’s yellow and can sink a bus full of kids?
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
You can hang the picture with one nail.
How can you tell if a man is straight? You don't have to, he will tell you.
The good thing about being gay in school is that you can be the best student and still get all the D's.
What can run, be an eyesore, and practice social distancing?
Your hairline.