New Canning Jokes - Page 25 - Worst Jokes Ever

Woah man, you need to take a step back. Your hairline did, so I am sure you can.

What are two plus sides to being an orphan?

1. All your snacks are family sized.

2. No one can make jokes about your mama.

Can you go as a horse for Halloween?

Well, if you do, I can't wait to ride you!

I went up to the blind kid and said, "Can you get that for me?" and he said, "I can't, I'm blind." And so I said, "I see."

Your teeth are so spread out my mom can drive her car through the gap in your teeth.

You're so ugly whenever you say hi, people walk away and say that you were too ugly, and they go take a bath right away because you're so stinky.

They say that you look like your mama. Wait, your mama must be just like you because I can see her way from a mile!

You say you put on perfume, but every time I smell you, you smell like poo-poo. You're so ugly that when your mom looks in the mirror, you cry. You're so stupid the second-grade teacher had to tell you to go all the way to kindergarten. Head Start is every grade below you. You can't even go to the 20th grade, which stands for 9th grade. You can't even go to grocery stores, and people that tell you that you're so ugly give you compliments just to make you feel better. You know that everybody just likes you just because they just don't want to hurt your feelings, so just stay in your mind. Hey, you want to text Matt; you know it was you because every time you see you, you think that you matter. Matter fact, he doesn't even like you; he just wants your money girl. Who even likes you? 😈😈

CEO Intrepid entrepreneur born in 1964, Jeffrey, Jeffrey Bezos.

Repeat, come on Jeffrey, you can do it, pave the way, put your back into it, tell us why, show us how, look at where you came from, look at you now.

Zuckerberg and Gates and Musk, they're the anchors, can make and sick it up there with drink their blood, come on Jeff get it! Dododoododododod

For some reason my mom es to lick and suck on hotdogs. As a son can anyone tell me why ?

For some reason, when my mom eats hot dogs, she likes to lick and suck on it first. As a son, can anyone tell me why?

Michael proved anything is possible in America. Where else can a poor black boy grow up to be a rich white woman?

I asked the gym instructor,

"Can you teach me to do the splits?"

"How flexible are you?" he asked.

"Well, I can't make it on Fridays."

What do you do if you see someone raping your girlfriend? Help out. There is no way she can fight both of you. Then, find the poor man a lawyer.

You're so bald, I can see what's on your mind.

Your hairline is so deep people can see what you're thinking.

What's the difference between a pregnant girl and a light bulb?

... You can unscrew a light bulb, but you can't unscrew a pregnant girl.

What do you call a hamburger that can talk and walk?

Funny weird walkie hamburger and talkie cute hamburger. Lol.

I can find the end of time before I find your hairline.

Where can you donate an aborted fetus?

Your local pizzeria.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a bucket of water.

WHERE DO THEY REALLY GO BECAUSE WATER CAN NOT BE AT THE TOP OF A HILL!?. I honestly think that only people with a physics degree can make nursery rhythms.