Can jokes

Joshua White loves blue, A simple truth, tried and true. In his pocket, only six, Yet each penny a valued fix.

With eyes that seek the azure skies, He dreams of places that mesmerize. A palette of blues, a symphony of hues, Whispering secrets only he can choose.

His heart beats to the rhythm of the sea, Where waves crash, wild and free. In sandy shores, he finds solace rare, A momentary escape from life's daily wear.

In cerulean fields, flowers dance, Their vibrant petals, a timeless romance. He wanders through meadows, devoid of strife, Seeking solace in nature's vibrant life.

Joshua White, a soul of gentle grace, Embracing the world at his own pace. Though his pockets hold a mere six, His spirit soars, never to be fixed.

For in the depths of his azure dreams, The richness of life's tapestry gleams. And with every breath, he finds anew, That love is boundless, ever true.

Mom: ON THE PHONE WITH CHILD- Honey, is Dad late to pick you up again?

Child: No, Mum. Dad is here, but he is talking about me to Mrs. Lili, the math teacher.

Mom: Can you hear them?

Child: I think... they are watching a good movie.

Mom: Why do you think that?

Child: Because I keep hearing this *HOLDS ONTO PHONE* and clap, clap, clap.

Jesus walked, so Mohammad can fly.

How can you surprise someone who is blind?

Leave a plunger in the toilet.

Little Steven was scared to take a shower by himself, so he asked his mum to shower with him. She said ok just don’t look up. He looked up and said wow what are those. She said they are headlights. He looked under and stuck his finger in it and said oh what is that. She said that’s a Pu-pu-pu Bush!!

The next day Steven’s mom wasn’t home so he asked his Papa can I shower with you? He said ok just don’t look up. Well Steven looked up and said WTH IS THAT? His dad said it’s a Snake. That night he asked his parents if he can sleep with them. They said ok Just don’t look under the covers. He grew bored then looked under and Screamed mom turn on the headlights There’s a snake in the bush.

A burger walks into a bar and says, "Hi sir, can I have a glass of water?"

And the waiter says, "I'm sorry sir, we don't serve food here."

My girlfriend's name is Candice.

Can these nuts fit in your mouth? :D

What are the four letters you don’t want to hear from a dentist?

I C D K

I can make a word with those: "DICK".

I just found out that one of the new Star Wars shows is going to be about the time that some malware overloaded all of their computers, and I can tell from the title that those computers use Windows!

It's called "The Bad Batch File!"

A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, "Anything you say can and will be held against you." The man replies, "Boobs!"

What did the kid with cancer say? "Can-I see my mom one more time?"

How do you know when German people break into your house? When you can not find your bed.

I have the brains of an old man and the heart of a child. If you don't believe me, I can pop my trunk.

Do you put a baby in the microwave covered or uncovered?

Covered, it can take weeks to clean up the explosion.

Why did Zayn Malik get his girlfriend to convert to Islam? So she can declare GiGIHADid.

The best part about having autism is being able to make jokes about genociding autistic people and no one can say a damn thing.

"5 dollars if a fat guy can find his penis."

What did the left butt cheek say to the right butt cheek? "Together we can stop this shit!"

How can you get 3 homos to sit on one barstool?

Turn it upside down.

To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket: you can hide, but you can’t run.