How can you tell your best friend is gay?
His meat tastes like shit.
How can a pimp save money in buying condoms for his stable?
Answer: Have his hoes wash and rinse them after every use.
You need a good place to think? You can sit on my lap, and we’ll see the first thing that pops up!
Don’t have a bike? You can mount me instead.
What do you call a banana that can dance?
CHUPAPIMUNYANYO BUISNESS [sic]
The FBI wants to steal my penis. Can I hide it inside you?
Do you like soccer? My favorite player is Ronaldo, but we can still get Messi.
The little girl's dad was Jewish and her mom was Catholic. Mom had been taking the little girl to church every Sunday.
One Sunday, during High Mass, the little girl whispers to her mom, “Mom, can we go home now?”
“No honey, not yet,” replied the mother, “the Mass is only half over.”
“Then we can go now, Mom. I'm half Jewish.”
I used to date this girl only to find out she's a guy.
I guess you can say she had me in a trans.
Whenever I work late at the hospital, I help the patients sleep.
There isn't a snooze button on the beeping things, and it can be quite annoying, making it hard for the patients to sleep, so I unplug them.
Where do babies get baptized?
So the priest can wash their sex toys.
How can you tell Donald Trump is old and demented?
He can't distinguish between tanned people and cockroaches!
How can you be fast and slow at the same time, getting a gold medal in the Special Olympics?
If you hate what you hear from Nickelback, at least you can get your nickel back.
If you have to deal with the noise from Deftones... unfortunately, not only are you unable to obtain any refund, but you may have become permanently deaf.
Na, don't be mean to fat people. Oh wait, never mind, they can handle the weight.
What is the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler?
Usain Bolt can finish a race.
I'm so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.
It's easy to tell if a skeleton is lying to you because you can see right through them.
¡Hola, soy Dora!
Can you help me find the two fucks I'm supposed to give?!
There's only 3 types of people: the ones who can count and the ones that can't.
