Have you heard the new pickup line in a gay bar?
Can I push your stool in for ya?
Can Jokes
What's the difference between a bus full of children and a fish?
The fish can swim.
It's really great that you can make fun of orphans, 'cause what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Most annoying thing...
When we send something in WhatsApp thinking our friend is online but can only see two grey ticks...
What is the best power that man can do? They can move the mountain with their tongue.
I don't have any friends.
If you like this, I can be your friend :)
Nobody
Literally nobody
Gordan Ramsey: do you need me to bring Hitler back to life so he can show you how to use a fucking oven?
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?
Dark humor is 10 babies in a trash can. Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans.
Some people can juggle chainsaws. Chuck Norris can juggle people juggling chainsaws.
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
My mom: "Dear, I don't know why your grandma is spending more time with her friend Carla, can you spy on her?"
Me: "Your mom gay lol."
My mom: "Don't talk about your grandma like that, you rude girl."
You: "Your mom gay lol."
A teacher is doing an experiment about taste. She tells each student to line up so she can give them each a lifesaver, so they can tell her what flavor it is. She gives Suzy a pineapple one. Suzy tries it, says the flavor, and then goes and sits back down. That is the same for everyone, then it is Jhonny's turn. The teacher hands him a honey flavor one. Jhonny chews it for a while, then says,
"Teacher, I don't know what it is.". The teacher tries to give him a hint and says, "it's what your parents call each other when you are asleep". Immediately the boy behind Jhonny screams, "Spit it out Jhonny, it's an asshole!!!"
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing and his eyes are glazed.
The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.
“I think my friend is dead!” he yells. “What can I do?”
The operator says, “Calm down. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”
There’s a silence, then a shot. Back on the phone, the guy says, “OK, now what?”
How does E.T. have an advantage over orphans? E.T. can actually phone home.
What do you call two skeletons dancing in a tin can?
Noise!
What do you get when skeletons are dancing in a tin can?
Noise!
Did you hear of my new job as a can crusher? It's soda pressing.
Hey, what's the puniest pun you can come up with?
Blonde: Can I suck you off? (has STDs on mouth)
Me: Naw (drake turn/dab)
Have you heard about my new can crushing job?
It's soda-pressing.
