Call jokes
What do you call an elf that sings? A Wrapper.
My girlfriend called me a pedophile, but what does she know? She's 7.
How do you keep a homophobic heterosexual man that is a minister and a Christian nationalist with blond hair in suspense?
Wait until Christmas to take away his church's tax-exempt status or he will call the ACLU.
My little sister called my name a few minutes after I put her to bed. She told me that there was something in her closet. I checked the closet and told her there was nothing there, but told her she could still sleep in my room with me. I was thinking that was the best way to get her out of the room before he noticed I saw him.
What do you call it when a person with Down syndrome gets friendzoned?
Chromozoned.
What do you call a rich Chinese man? Ching Ching.
The teacher asked her class to use "definitely" in a sentence. Little Johnny raised his hand to answer, yet the teacher passed him and went on to Kevin. "The sky is definitely blue." "Very good Kevin, but the sky can also be blue or black," the teacher replied.
Little Johnny raised his hand again as high as he could, yet the teacher passed right over him and picked Annie from the back of the room. "The grass is definitely green." "Very good Annie, but it can also be brown." Little Johnny was waving his hand like crazy seeking her attention. Finally, she called on him. "Mine's more of a question, but do farts have lumps in them?" "Why no, Johnny, why would you ask such a question?" She questioned. "Well, if they don't have lumps in them, then I definitely just shit myself."
Little Johnny walked into the bathroom while his dad was taking a dump. As soon as Little Johnny walked in, his dad let out a big FART! Little Johnny said, “WHAT WAS THAT?” His dad said, “That was the sound of the north wind.” The next day his teacher asked the class, “What’s the direction of the north wind?” Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher called on him and he said, “TEACH IT’S MY DADDY’S BOOTY!”
What do you call a bus full of transgender men? T-Mobile.
What do you call a crowd of horny white women?
A field of cotton waiting to be picked.
What do you call a group of emos?
Limited Edition.
What do you call a sneaky child molester?
Incogpedo.
If Jesus was real, they wouldn’t call it the crucifixion. They would call it crucifact.
What do you call a suicide bomber in a wheelchair?
An RCXD (remote control explosive).
Me: "Comment if you love yourself and give me a reason."
Friends: comments give reason.
Me: "Notice how I commented nothing."
Day later:
Mom: Let me see your TikTok.
Me: Shows her the video.
Mom: calls suicide.
JK, she just beat me for posting a video on her.
A new drug has been developed for lesbians with depression.
It’s called Trycoxagain.
What do you call an emo kid's suicide live stream?
America's funniest home videos.
What do you call a skeleton who went out in the snow? A numb skull!
Horror movies don't scare me. 5 missed calls from my mum scares me.
What do you call an autistic kid with a glock?
Special forces.
Btw, I'm 13.