Call Jokes

The teacher asked her class to use "definitely" in a sentence. Little Johnny raised his hand to answer, yet the teacher passed him and went on to Kevin. "The sky is definitely blue." "Very good Kevin, but the sky can also be blue or black," the teacher replied.

Little Johnny raised his hand again as high as he could, yet the teacher passed right over him and picked Annie from the back of the room. "The grass is definitely green." "Very good Annie, but it can also be brown." Little Johnny was waving his hand like crazy seeking her attention. Finally, she called on him. "Mine's more of a question, but do farts have lumps in them?" "Why no, Johnny, why would you ask such a question?" She questioned. "Well, if they don't have lumps in them, then I definitely just shit myself."

What do you call four black people in a sleeping bag?

A Kit Kat.

What do u call a group of emos?

Limited Edition

Me: "Comment if you love yourself and give me a reason."

Friends: comments give reason.

Me: "Notice how I commented nothing."

Day later:

Mom: Let me see your TikTok.

Me: Shows her the video.

Mom: calls suicide.

JK, she just beat me for posting a video on her.

What do you call a suicide bomber in a wheelchair?

An RCXD (remote control explosive).

A screenshot of a text message conversation. The first text says, "Can you call me a taxi at 7am tomorrow?" The second text says, "Thanks dad". There is a green "Ok" bubble, and the last text, which is from "dad", says: "You're a taxi".

An Autistic chef made hamburgers out of donkey meat.

He called them: "Asperger's."

What do you call an emo kid's suicide live stream?

America's funniest home videos.

What do you call a mushroom 🍄 with many friends?

A fungi.

What do you call a skeleton who went out in the snow? A numb skull!

What do you call it when a person with Down syndrome gets friendzoned?

Chromozoned.

What do you call a rich Chinese man? Ching Ching.

What do you call a group of chubby trans-genders?

Trans-fats.

Horror movies don't scare me. 5 missed calls from my mum scares me.

What do you call Hitler in a pool? Adolfin.

What do you call a 90-year-old black man?

Antique farming equipment.

Astronomers got tired of watching the moon rotate around the earth for 24 hours, so they just called it a "day".

A boss said to his secretary, "I want to have sex with you, but I will make it very fast."

"I'll throw $1,000 on the floor and by the time you bend down to pick it up, I'll be done."

She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend said, "Do it but ask him for $2,000. Then pick up the money so fast, he won't even have enough time to undress himself." She agrees.

After half an hour passes, the boyfriend calls the girlfriend and asks, "So what happened?" She responds, "The... bastard.....used.....coins."

What do you call an Indian electrician?

Ashok 😂

My little sister called my name a few minutes after I put her to bed. She told me that there was something in her closet. I checked the closet and told her there was nothing there, but told her she could still sleep in my room with me. I was thinking that was the best way to get her out of the room before he noticed I saw him.