Call jokes
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot wheels.
Why can't an orphan be gay?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
What do you call a letter using the bathroom?
The P.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on a bungy jump?
Spasticelastic.
What do you call a lamp that molests young boys? A Jacko Lantern!
What do you call a Mexican that smokes weed? A baked bean.
What do you call cows that have a sense of humor? -- Laughing stock.
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing and his eyes are glazed.
The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.
“I think my friend is dead!” he yells. “What can I do?”
The operator says, “Calm down. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”
There’s a silence, then a shot. Back on the phone, the guy says, “OK, now what?”
What do you call an obese man with bipolar? Twins.
What do you call 2 spies fucking?
Undercover.
What do you call a short cow in tall grass? Udderly tickled :)
What do you call a black person in a dark room?
Invisible.
I was sad, so I called the depression hotline. Turns out the depression hotline is where people roast you until you are depressed.
What do you call a white duck?
A quacker.
What do you call an atheist bone? -- A blasfemur.
What do you call a mountain of kittens?
A meowtain.
What do you call a deaf animal?
Anything, it can't hear you.
What do you call a couple Mexicans getting stoned in a bush? Buches baked breans.
You know, I got a SKELETON of these jokes. All are HUMERUS. Yeah, this gets under people’s SKIN, but I guess you could call their FUNNY BONE BROKEN! People try and hit me when this happens, luckily, I got THICK SKIN! Yeah, thanks for listening. Hope you got these puns down TO THE BONE!
When is rape normal?
When it's called an unplanned pregnancy.