Call jokes

I got sent to the principal's office for lighting the kid in the wheelchair on fire and calling him hot wheels.

Do you want to know why they call it an orphanage? Because they couldn't call it orphans home.

"I'm not sure why my girlfriend's father doesn't like me."

"What was your first impression on him?"

"I told him, she calls me daddy too."

What do you call a dad in the mirror?

(Your imagination.)

What do you call it when a friend calms his suicidal friend? "Hang in there, buddy."

Calling Alabama's football team an astonishment would be the biggest understatement of the century, especially since they continuously catch balls from someone who isn't related to them.

What do you call a special police officer?

Officer down!

Call me Willma, will my balls fit ya mouth?

What do you call a smart person in America?

A tourist.

Richard: Mom, someone called me gay.

Richard's mom: Why didn't you slap him across his face?

Richard: No, I couldn't.

Richard's mom: Why?

Richard: Because he was cute.

What do you call an asian kid who's bad at math?

An orphan.

One day the teacher said, "There are 3 birds on a wire, a shooter shoots one. How many are left?" The teacher calls on lil Johnny. "None," the teacher said, "no but try again." Lil Johnny says, "None, because if you shoot one the rest get scared and leave." The teacher said, "Not quite, but I like the way you think."

Lil Johnny then says, "Alright teacher, I have one for you. There are 3 women sitting on a bench, one's sucking it, the other is licking it, and the last one is biting it. Which one is married?" The teacher then says, "The one sucking it, of course!" Lil Johnny then says, "No, the one with the ring, but I like the way you think!"

Why did the ACLU block the cellphone number of a Christian nationalist minister? Because the Christian nationalist had a virus on his cellphone and kept calling the ACLU because he wanted to join the ACLU because he wanted to become a card-carrying member of the ACLU.

If Martin Luther King were white, what would they call him?

Alive.

Hear about the restaurant called karma? There is no menu: You get what you deserve.

If a special ed kid is late to class, is it okay to call me a little tardy?

What do you call a sad cup of coffee?

Answer: Depresso.

What do you call an athlete who injured 75% of his spine?

A quarterback.

What do you call a cute door?

Adoorable.

What do you call a nose without a body? -- Nobody knows.