Call jokes
If someone calls you fat, just ignore them. You are bigger than that!
What did the bounty hunter call his favorite dog?
His Boba Pet.
What do you call an Indian?
Person in red. Cart a pack of Maltesers.
You know it’s called the circle of life? Because there’s no point to it.
What do you call a cow with no toes?
Lac-toes intolerant.
What do you call your sister who only has one leg?
Ei-lean.
What do you call an orphan? Batman.
What do you call an Indian in a shower?
A cleaner.
What do you call a rapper who can’t rap?
A wrapper with no FILLING.
What do you call a clown that is allergic to strawberries?
...Ollie the clown!
What do you call someone that is Mexican that has a BMW?
A big Mexican woman.
What do you call it when an orphan takes a picture?
A family portrait.
True Story
A CO was receiving inmates as they're being recalled from their assigned jobs to prepare for count. An inmate that had passed the officer returned bleeding through his trousers from his crotch. The inmate had an argument with his lover who had told him that he wasn't enough woman for him. As the inmate was bleeding he was crying out, "He doesn't love me anymore!"
The officer called for medical assistance and went into the assigned cell. He found the severed penis. He fished it out of the toilet and placed it in a plastic bag with ice. He claimed that the medical staff at the hospital could reattach it. He took a ribbing from his fellow officers, because most would've flushed it. I retired and months later saw a fellow officer at the store. As we caught up, I mentioned that the last incident I responded to was 'the severed penis.' The officer tells me that the inmate severed his penis again after it was reattached and flushed it himself.
Why was the orphan kid bad at school? Because he wanted a phone call home.
What do you call a laughing motorcycle?
A Yamahahahaha!
W-what does, I mean uh, what is, um-, wh-what’s the difference, no... I mean- I mean what do you call a, um... sorry guys, i-i can’t do this. 😥🥺
*runs away in tears*
Know why they call gonorrhea gonorrhea?
'Cause once you have it, everyone is gone.
Egg shaped, dome, bowling ball lookin' ass, bald fuck with that 360 degrees ahh head, motherfucker look like a damn balloon.
Call me Kobe 'cause I'm finna use your head as a basketball and throw it at yo' parents. Mr. Clean, bootleg Saitama lookin' ass mfer. No hair? :(
What is it called when a cop hides under his bed? Going undercover.
What do you call a happy child swinging with her friends at recess?
Not Sally.