Call jokes
What do you call a decapitated politician?
A severed head of state.
What do you call a burned Mexican? A fried torteya.
What do you call a train that carries bubblegum?
Chew-chew train! Hee hee!
What do you call a skeleton's erection?
A boner.
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Q: What is a Karen called in Europe?
A: An American.
1. What do you call cheese that's not yours? Nacho cheese.
2. Knock, knock. Who's there? Ash. Ash who? Achoo!
3. How does the ocean say hello? He waves.
4. Why can't Elsa have a balloon? Because she will let it go.
5. What do you call your enemy? You don't call it at all.
What do you call a Democrat that is a progressive?
A Democrat that lost in a presidential election.
What do you call a dino stripper?
A dinohore.
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that the teller's name is Patricia Whack. So he says, "Ms. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation."
Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow.
The frog says $30,000.
The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's OK, he knows the bank manager.
Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral.
The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000. He wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what the heck is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says: "It's a knick knack, Patti Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
What do you call a redhead in a fridge?
I'm pretty sure her name was Kelly.
What do you call six gay people in a war? Rainbow Six Siege.
What do you call a swimming terrorist? A bath bomb.
What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman?
A Kinder Egg surprise!
A man walked into a bar with an AK-47 with a 50-round mag and yelled out, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" Everyone was quiet.
One man at the back stood up and called, "Sorry mate, but I don't think you have enough bullets."
What do you call a pig at the beach?
Bacon.
What do you call a hot tub full of special ed students?
Vegetable Soup.
What do you call a bunch of bald paki in a swimming pool? Coco pops.
What do you call an octopus on land?
A spider, duh!
When someone calls you, say "Welcome to Joe's Pizza Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce."