What do you call a guy at your doorstep with no arms and no legs?
Matt!
I don’t call it special ED, I call it mixed vegetables.
What do you call a cow that lives in Africa? Moo-fasa!
What do you call the mushy stuff between sharks' teeth?
A slow swimmer...
There's a kid named Little Johnny who would always cuss. Well, one day, he was sitting in class and the teacher said, "Let's play a game." So the game was she calls out a letter and someone raises her hand and tells her a word that begins with that letter. The teacher says "A". Little Johnny raises his hand and the teacher thinks to herself, "Well, he might say something like a**." So the teacher calls on Sally. Sally says "apple". The teacher says "B". Little Johnny raises his hand. The teacher thought, "No, he might say something like b!tch." So the teacher goes all the way to R. The teacher says "R". Little Johnny raises his hand and says, "Me, me, please, I really know one." Then the teacher thinks to herself, "Well, there's no cuss word that starts with R," so she said, "Okay, Johnny, give me a word that starts with R." Little Johnny says, "A rat!" and the teacher, very pleased, says, "Very good, Johnny. What type of rat?" Little Johnny says, "A big gosh damn mother freaker."
Sorry, I had to edit some word, but y'all know what I meant.
What do you call a woman with magical abilities and an android? Wanda Maximoff and Vision! Or.... Scarlet Witch and Vision! This joke was added to celebrate and honour Marvel Studios' new series: WandaVision!
What do you call an autistic kid that’s good at art?
Artistic.
What do you call a 3-sum with a girl with AIDS?
Nut in the butt.
What do you call a train with bubble gum?
A chew chew train.
Oh man, I'm depressed.
If a deaf person is at court, then is it still called a hearing?
What do you call Greg in your class? Obese.
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An Autistic chef made hamburgers out of donkey meat.
He called them: “ASPERGER’S”
What are two things you could call a fart?
"Gas from the ass" or "Odor from the motor!"
What do you call an overly clingy child?
A tumor.
What do you call an orphanage, that's not an orphanage?
A Homeless shelter
Why can't Juice WRLD play Call of Duty zombies?
Because he can't handle all six perks.
One day the teacher said, "There are 3 birds on a wire, a shooter shoots one. How many are left?" The teacher calls on lil Johnny. "None," the teacher said, "no but try again." Lil Johnny says, "None, because if you shoot one the rest get scared and leave." The teacher said, "Not quite, but I like the way you think."
Lil Johnny then says, "Alright teacher, I have one for you. There are 3 women sitting on a bench, one's sucking it, the other is licking it, and the last one is biting it. Which one is married?" The teacher then says, "The one sucking it, of course!" Lil Johnny then says, "No, the one with the ring, but I like the way you think!"
Did you know there’s a sex position called “Amazon”? You wait all day and nobody comes.
I threw a paralyzed kid into the fireplace and called him hotwheels.
