But jokes

Hey guys, wish me luck on my game Al-Nassr vs. Raed Al-Raed. I have 604 million followers on Instagram, but we are not gonna be able to beat that. Can we get to 69 followers, please and thankyou?

When someone says you're adopted, say, "But you're still at the orphanage."

My dick was in the book of world records.

But then the librarian asked me to take it out.

I tried to high-five my emo friend, but he just left me hanging.

I made a website to adopt orphans. But there is no home page.

How many gays does it take to put in a light bulb?

Only one... but it takes the entire Emergency Room to get it out.

How many gay guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just one... But it takes the entire emergency room to take it out.

I have some jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.

When you forget the pinata at the birthday party. The kids: "Aww man." But the emo kid just hung himself. Kids: "Yaaaaayyy." Parents: "Adjust, improvise, overcome, that is the way."

A: Why are you so sad?

B: I was watching porn, and all of a sudden my wife opened the door.

A: Ok, I see, but is that really such a big deal?

B: I mean, she opened the door in the movie.

I hate jokes about 9/11... every joke has the tendency to crash and burn.

"I didn't get the joke at first, but then it hit me like a plane," the joke was so dark a cop almost shot it.

I'm not saying you're ugly, but you're the reason God created miscarriages!

I was going to tell my dad a joke, but he still hasn't come back with the milk yet.

I was happy for once, and my family was happy I was happy, but that all changed when they found out I was thinking about bridges and humans.

School was fun, but it was hard, almost like riding a bike that’s on fire and the grounds on fire and everything’s on fire because it’s hell.

My mum once told me, "How do you spell Mississippi?" and I said, "Misisipi." But she said, "No, it goes mi-ss-i-ss-pp-i," and I laughed when she said "pp." Then she said, "Why are you laughing?" I tried saying, "You said pp," but I was laughing too hard.

Life is like a film; it goes on, but you can cut at any time.

I was playing football with my friends, and I got tackled and got a penalty. Suddenly, the ground started shaking, and Penaldo emerged from the mud. He took the penalty, but since it wasn't Andorra, he missed. Shame on you, Penaldo!

People say killing two birds with one stone is a good thing, but when I did it, people just looked horrified.

Once I tried to tell my friend a joke about dead people... but it went six feet underground...