But jokes

I went to the table to eat my egg, but I couldn't find it anywhere.

I think someone must've poached it.

People are fighting in a war, and a man gets hit four times in the arm and says, "'Tis but a scratch!"

And the other guy, looking at him in shock, says, "A scratch? Your arm is off your body!"

I waved to you before, but you never sea me because you're so washed up.

What do you call Shroud when he is hurt?

ShrOWd.

Guess what, Shroud is back on wje, I don't know why, but he is...

I drove my Chevy to the levy, but the levy was... Oh, CRAP!!!

Words can’t describe how beautiful you are.

But numbers can. (Lol)

When you have a box of dead babies in your garage and one of them is alive at the bottom and has to eat its way out but goes back for seconds.

Big butt

When you send your girl a dick pic, but she says it's small, so you text back and say:

"Enjoy the little things."

What goes in and comes out and makes you feel good but isn't sexual?

(Insulin)

What is the difference between the snow boots on a day today, but you have the one was the night you were coming tomorrow? I can get home night time for.

I did a walk today, but it was so much better, and a walk home. I had dinner. Night was good fun at home. Night was good night. I was a little off, but you were so fun to be a night.

To you, Iron Man may seem cool or awesome, but to me, he is pretty ironic.

When you go to your girlfriend's house but accidentally go into her dad's room and fuck him anyway.

The bird was trying to cross the road because there was a church, but instead, the birds chirp chirp chirp, "Let's go to church!"

I tried my best to think of some puns, but I'm gonna have tibia honest: I don't have any puns left, but I'm pretty sternum, so I'll think of a few puns here and there. It took a lot of spine to do this.

What did the elephant say to the naked man?

"It's nice, but can it pick up peanuts?"

I would have told you about a chemistry joke, but I wouldn't get a reaction.

I was going to make a 9/11 joke, but I'm afraid it will crash and burn.

I would tell you a cat pun, but it's too purr-fect to share.