But jokes

One time I was with my uncle. He said to me to pass him the marble on the floor. All I heard was my butt clapping with his sausage.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to celebrate their marriage.

Nine months later, they happily had some use for their baby carriage.

Two years later, they went up again, then their daughter had a brother.

But one little secret that no one knew was that Jack and Jill share a mother.

One time, little Johnny was watching TikTok, and he saw a toy that he wanted so badly, so he cleaned up the whole house and did his homework. When he was done, he saw a spill on the table. He went to the sink to grab a cloth, but when he came back, it was gone. He went to his mom's room and saw a drink with the label "daddy's drink," so he drunk it and said, "It's daddy's; he won't mind," and all day he was like the Flash. So he went back, turned the bottle around, and it said "Speedy," and then he said, "Oh, great heavens!"

I was going to tell a joke about a mirror, but it seems that I'm looking at one.

Yo momma is so fat, when she fell I was not laughing, but the sidewalk cracked up.

What is red, orange, and yellow but doesn’t feel anything when it falls? Autumn leaves. 🍁

I'm 14. I have had sex before. I have 206 bones in my body, but when I'm with my gf, I have 207.

Your mom is so fat when she skipped a meal, the whole stock market crashed.

Your mom is so fat she tripped, and I didn’t even laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.

Saw that shit on Roblox.

My parents were concerned when I said I like to bleed, but at least I cut my risk of cancer and stroke in half.

Why were the Twin Towers angry?

Because they ordered pepperoni, but they got plane.

The orphan tried to play baseball, but he couldn't get home because home doesn't exist for him.

I'm no astronomer, but I’m pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun... not you.

Last post for today, but I had to say one more thing! Tomorrow I am going to Six Flags, and I am literally so excited! It is going to be so much fun. Hope you guys have a good MLK JR. day! Woohooo!

The gay kid tried to shoot up the school, but his shots would not go straight.

The emo tried to high five the tree, but the tree just left him hanging.

I told an emo kid that we were going to hang (hangout), but they took it too literal.

Roses are red, that much is true.

But violets are violet, not f*ing blue!

My grandpa warned people the Titanic would sink, but they wouldn’t listen, so he kept warning them. Then he was kicked out of the theater.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said, "You know you wanna."

Jill said yes and lifted up her dress. They had some fun.

But silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.

Jack and Jill went up the hill. So Jack could lick her candy.

But Jack got a shock and a mouthful of cock.

Because Jill's real name was Randy.