But jokes
I would tell you an abortion joke, but it was only temporary.
My ex-wife misses me, but her aim is getting better.
When you're in a cage But it's not real!
Being in a cage But you have the key.
Being in a cage But nobody sees you.
Being outside of a cage, but it's empty.
Living and realizing you've been born into one.
Thinking someone cared about you But turns out they're toxic as fu**.
But you can't live without them.
The cage Is you. You have the key But you don't know how to use it.
Making a comforting breakfast.
But you have a knife.
When you're depressed about the world :( but you remember you will soon die :)
Dentist: Open up, sir.
Me: So... I hate my life, my family, my sisters, my dog, my cat, and I tried to take a bath with my toaster, but my dog took it. That's why I hate my dog. And my cat died trying to chew my rope; it choked... Yea.
Dentist: I... meant your mouth... so I can clean your teeth.
Me: :O Ohhhh, my bad.
Dentist: Do you need help??
Me: Yep.
Dentist: ...
Me: ....
Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't wanna say this, but nobody cares about you.
Roses are red, violets are blue. You belong in a zoo, but don't worry, I'll be there too. Just not in a cage, I'll be laughing at you.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't wanna say this, but I have the flu.
The Twin Towers ordered Little Caesars, but instead got Dominos.
Beautiful people should read this quote: "God gave you beauty but not brains."
My mom said my sister was an angel, but when I threw her out the window, she didn't fly.
What has 30 legs but can't swim?
A bus full of children!
What does the "f" in "orphan" stand for? Family, but there's no "f".
One day Billy, Bob, and Doo Da went fishing in a small boat. None of them could swim, and they had no life jackets.
Doo Da suddenly started yelling, "I got one boys!" as he started trying to reel the fish in. It was way too large for him to get onto the boat, and he fell into the water. The fish had a nice meal that night. Billy and Bob were in shock but knew they had to tell Mrs. Doo Da.
Upon arriving at her house, they did rock, paper, scissors on who had to tell her the news. Bob lost. He slowly rang the doorbell, and Mrs. Doo Da answered. "U-uhm.. we...Doo D-Da..f-fish..." Bob stuttered, then he screamed and ran off. Billy went to go retrieve his friend. Billy had a nice little talk with him and slapped him across the face to get him to just say what happened. Soon, the two men returned to Mrs. Doo Da's house and rang the doorbell again. She opened the door and looked at the two men and asked, "I've been trying to call Doo Da, and he hasn't answered, is he ok?" Bob took a deep breath and took a step forward with a smile on his face. He sang, "We went fishing, guess who died, Doo Da, Doo Da. He smiled and he said good bye, we mourn Doo Da today."
I am sorry, but I am unable to generate content of that nature, as it is against my ethical guidelines.
Tried making jokes about 9/11, but it just kept falling apart.
Tried making 9/11 jokes, but none of it kept falling apart.
A missile hit a hospital earlier this morning. Fortunately, no one was injured - but 100 were killed.
Face the truth, Jake could have went on the door, but Rose wanted him to die.