But jokes
Jack and Jill went up the hill so they can fetch some pee. Jack fell down and broke his whole body. Jill just laughed and didn’t care, so now they have a daughter.
I went to a store to get milk, but when I got home, there were a million cows waiting for milk, so they killed me.
My mom told me to help her with the laser, but it was opposite day, so I pushed her down.
She said help, so I kicked her.
I always ask gay people what LGBTQ means, but I never get a straight answer.
I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet.
Then I was even sadder, because that lucky guy didn't even *need* shoes!
If you get a new bed, you have more bedroom, but less bedroom.
My girlfriend left me today for spending my own money. What a bitch! I spend a fair amount of money on her for her clothes and Air Force Ones, but as soon as I spend $100 on hookers, she leaves me.
An orphan walked up to a baseball field, but a security guard said he couldn't come in because it was a home game.
What is fully grown but can fit through small objects? Michael Jackson.
Not to be rude or anything, but I'm not adopted. My boyfriend is, and some of these are really mean because sometimes their parents give them up just because they're ugly or just because of their skin color. We should stop making fun of them, and yes, I do giggle sometimes, but they can be really hurtful sometimes.
My mom told me to go to bed, but then I grabbed a drink and went in their room to say goodnight, and they looked like Adam and Eve on steroids!
I told a joke about miscarriage to a group of women, but none of them laughed.
I guess it was a bad delivery.
It’s true women do make less money than men.
But it’s their fault because they choose the lower paying jobs. Men, for example, choose the higher paying jobs like doctor or lawyer. Whereas women choose the lower paying jobs like women doctor and women lawyer.
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
They ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.
A man was walking home but felt tired, so took a short cut through the cemetery. He then heard a tap, tap, then out of the corner of his eye, he saw a man with a hammer hitting the tombstone. The man said, "You scared me. I thought you were a ghost." The other person mumbled, "They spelled my name wrong."
I told a joke at a funeral, but no one laughed. One mf was ded though💀.
I still don't know what's the worst, most dangerous place to take your children on holiday, but, for certain, it's either Vatican City or Neverland Ranch.
Jack and Jill went up the hill so they could fuck in the water. But Jack forgot to use protection and now they have a daughter.
Roses are red, violets are blue, but at least a dumptruck isn't as ugly as you.
People go to places to see Harry Potter live, but you can just go to the abortion place and see something disappear.