But jokes

An orphan goes to a family restaurant with her doll.

"I'm sorry but you can't be here," said the man. "This is a family restaurant." The orphan said, "This is my family," then pointed to her doll.

What's the difference between a piano, a pot of glue, and a tuna fish?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.

What about the glue?

I knew you'd get stuck there.

Kidnapper: Hey kid, your mom told me to follow me.

Orphan: But I don't have a mom!

Jack and Jill went up my ass to eat a big dildo, but Jack died cause he got hit by a brown thing.

I was about to joke about your life, but I think your life is already a joke.

When a woman decides to abort, it is called a decision, but when I run my truck into a playground of kids, it is called murder.

My wife said she wanted to leave me. She said it’s because of the abuse, but really, she’s the one abusing herself by drinking alcohol and got poisoning the next day. This shows almost half of the woman’s population is weak both physically and mentally.

My mum told me to take out the trash, but I couldn’t find you.

How do you f**k a sheep?

Put your d**k in it and face it off the cliff edge. It'll keep going backwards as you push forwards.

What hates socialism but still uses roads, police, and says they support the military?

Dumb right wingers.

What moans about women but wouldn't exist without them? A triggered menimist.

What hates men but would have no life without men?

A triggered feminist.

I was in Russia at a stand-up comedy performance about someone making fun of Putin, but the jokes were awful. The execution was nice, though.

I’m part of the anti anime association, but I’m starting to like anime. What do I do?

And for the joke: What do you call a dog with no back legs and a pair of metal balls? Sparky.

Roses are red, violets are blue, The children are fast, But Elmo is faster, Bow down to your master!

Please write your comment.

But do not use words like monkey, donkey, loser, etc.

I made a website about orphans, but it doesn't have a home page.

My mum told me to take you to the zoo and throw you in the lake, but I couldn't find you.

Africa has every type of gun but one...

A water gun.

Little Johnny: Hey, Dad, are you finally back with the milk?

Dad: Yea, but it's expired, so I'm going back to the "milk store" and get more (and not come back for a couple more years). :)