But jokes
God, I love telling children their parents love them, but only on April Fools'. They're orphans, after all.
I tried to tell an orphan a knock-knock joke, but sadly, there was no door to knock on.
Why can't I touch little old women, but nursing home nurses can?
When babies kick their mother, it's okay, but when I do it, it's a crime...
This isn't an orphan joke, but I got a job at a library, but it only lasted 15 minutes. Turns out, books about women’s rights shouldn’t go in the Sci-Fi / Fantasy section.
Yo mama so fat, that when she fell I didn’t laugh, but damn that sidewalk cracked up. 👋
Johnny and Jill went up the hill to lick Jill's yummy candy.
But Johnny got a SHOCK With a mouthful of COCK Because Jill's REAL NAME?
Was Randy. 👹
I went to school with a gay guy who was really smart, but he always got mad that he got straight A's instead of getting all the D's.
Not totally a joke but... What do all these rape joke naysayers have in common with rapists? They are also forcing themselves on others.
One day, Little Johnny needs to use the bathroom. His mom is in there, so he went in to use it and asked his mom, "What is that between your legs?"
His mom told him that is her bush. Then the next day the same thing happened, but with his dad. He asked his dad, "What is that between his legs?" He said, "My snake."
The same thing happened one more time, except with his grandmother. Little Johnny asked grandma what is on her chest. She said, "My headlights."
One night, Little Johnny caught his parents doing something naughty. Then he said, "Grandma, grandma, turn on your headlights! Daddy's snake is trying to get into mommy's bush!"
I went to a funeral to revive my dead grandmother with the Reboot Card, but my family was upset!
She said you can twerk, so I put her in a tractor and put her to work. She got mad at me and said, "There's no good men," but I gave her a kob and equal pay!
Why is it okay to stab meat, but I can't stab myself? These woke lefties, BLM, Antifa, feminists, eco-warriors, pro-vaccine libtards are stopping your freedom and right to stab yourself!
My wife told me to pass her lip stick, but I gave her a glue stick. Now she is not talking to me.
Rape jokes are like your dad's dick. You don't want it but you still get it anyway.
I wanted to play Fruit Ninja, but remembered I don’t have a phone. Guess I gotta draw fruit on my arm!
My mom told me to make my dad smile, and she will give me $100, so I said, "The Cowboys are gonna win the Super Bowl." He smiled, but my mom didn't give it to me.
Anyways, I forgot about my package coming, and the mailman came, and I said, "I like your hat; teal looks nice on you," and he smiled, and my mom gave me $100.
Reminder: Check the fridge, but remember nothing's in there.
You're so fat, when people see you running, they can't help but yell out, "Keep running!"
FaceBook Story: My mom loves FaceBook; she literally posts every day, but this day was sort of a hard hit.
So what happened was my mom got tired of her old name on Facebook, so she changed it to Thatmilf85, and I don't want to explain what milf means, but she got a lot of DM's from a lot of old guys. BUT, this one exact guy named Johnny Sins asked my mom if she wanted to do an adult film. I don't know what that is. I think it's an adult movie, of course, so she says yes and flies out to San Diego, and she never came back after yesterday, and to YOU Johnny Sins, my mom better be Ok and that adult film better be an adult movie and not a por...