Two businessmen bought the Milwaukee Bucks for $500 million. They are very excited about their transaction, for this is the only legal way to own black people.
The most corrupt CEOs are those of the pretzel companies.
They’re always so twisted!
How do you take care of all the babies you just crushed with your car?
Open a pizza shop 🍕
READ THIS OUT LOUD:
This is this cat.
This is cat.
This is how cat.
This is to cat.
This is keep cat.
This is an cat.
This is idiot cat.
This is a busy cat.
This is for cat.
This is forty cat.
this is seconds cat.
NOW- go back and read the third word from each line from the start.
What do you call it when a man wants food in Panera?
Panera bread serving food.
What do a pimp and a farmer have in common?
They both need a hoe to stay in business.
A computer is a HARDware device. How come someone still feels it is MicroSOFT?
What did the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?
"Beat it. We're closed."
In memory of Michael Jackson, Starbucks and various other establishments are introducing the Jackson tea. It's 50 year old water, with a 7 year old tea bag.
Why is rape, rape? Because she is too busy enjoying the moment to say yes.
Can an orphan go to a family restaurant?
Where do sheep go to shop?
Woolmart.
A guy walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says, "If I can surprise you, I get a free drink." The bartender was unsure but agreed.
The guy pulled a 30cm long pianist out of his pocket, and he starts to play.
The bartender was surprised and gave the guy a free drink.
The guy then says, "You see, I have a little wizard in my pocket that grants wishes. Can I get another free drink if you get a free wish?"
The bartender agrees without hesitation.
The bartender wishes for 1000 bucks, but he gets 1000 ducks.
"WTF!" the man shouts.
The guy answered, "Did you think I wanted a 30cm long pianist?"
Why aren't women taken seriously in the world? They are too busy whining about getting raped.
What do you call sex in the World Trade Center?
An inside job.
What Kind of Hardware store can't orphans go into?
Home Depot.
How do you enter your house?
Through Bill Gates!
What do an Apple company and an orphanage have that are different?
Apples actually get picked... Unlike little Timmy here... He's been here for 16 years.
What restaurant does Africa own? M.T. Bellies.
Why couldn't Cinders use horses to pull the Pumpkin Coach?
Because they were too busy playing stable tennis!
