What do a pimp and a farmer have in common?
They both need a hoe to stay in business.
READ THIS OUT LOUD:
This is this cat.
This is cat.
This is how cat.
This is to cat.
This is keep cat.
This is an cat.
This is idiot cat.
This is a busy cat.
This is for cat.
This is forty cat.
this is seconds cat.
NOW- go back and read the third word from each line from the start.
What do you call it when a man wants food in Panera?
Panera bread serving food.
Why is rape, rape? Because she is too busy enjoying the moment to say yes.
A guy walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says, "If I can surprise you, I get a free drink." The bartender was unsure but agreed.
The guy pulled a 30cm long pianist out of his pocket, and he starts to play.
The bartender was surprised and gave the guy a free drink.
The guy then says, "You see, I have a little wizard in my pocket that grants wishes. Can I get another free drink if you get a free wish?"
The bartender agrees without hesitation.
The bartender wishes for 1000 bucks, but he gets 1000 ducks.
"WTF!" the man shouts.
The guy answered, "Did you think I wanted a 30cm long pianist?"
Why aren't women taken seriously in the world? They are too busy whining about getting raped.
What Kind of Hardware store can't orphans go into?
Home Depot.
What do you call sex in the World Trade Center?
An inside job.
How do you enter your house?
Through Bill Gates!
Why couldn't Cinders use horses to pull the Pumpkin Coach?
Because they were too busy playing stable tennis!
McDonald's was originally called "Mac and Dick," so, if you think about it, you could be enjoying a Big Dick instead of a Big Mac.
What restaurant does Africa own? M.T. Bellies.
What do an Apple company and an orphanage have that are different?
Apples actually get picked... Unlike little Timmy here... He's been here for 16 years.
How to decorate a wall:
Strip off the paper and original plaster.
Put on fresh plaster and wallpaper.
Paint it (if you want).
Send a bill to North America and wait patiently for a reply.
I went to the local butcher's and asked him what happened to his Saturday boy. The butcher replies, "I had to fire him, I found him with his dick in the meat slicer!"
"What did you do with the meat slicer?" I asked.
The butcher says, "I had to fire her too!"
Alternative punchline:
"I had to call social services, she was only 14."
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender said, "Why the long face?"
Where do Dairy Queen and Burger King go after dinner?
White Castle.
Hi! Welcome to Papa John's abortion clinic, where yesterday's meat is today's treat. How may I be of service?
If two feminazis are carpet munchers, which one in the lesbian relationship cooks?
They both don't because both of the carpet munchers are too busy eating each other's pussy 😋 🤪 😌 😏 😜 👍 👍 👌 👌 👏 🏆 🥇 💭 🤔 😮 😁 😊 😃 😄 👌 😍 🥰 ☺️
What shoe shop would be a lesbian's best friend, decimen?
