Burning

Burning jokes

Sex

    • They say during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. Who the fuck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?

  • 2

    • Boy

    • Little boy asked his dad why he was born black.

    Father replied, "So the heat from the sun doesn't burn your skin."

    Then he asks, "Why is our hair all frizzy like fuse wire?"

    "So the coconuts when falling from the trees won't hurt you."

    "Then what are we doing living in Rochdale? (England)"

  • 1

    • Mom

    • Mom, shut up. Me? I don't shut up, I grow up. When I look at you, I throw up.

    Orphan

    • I burned an orphan's hand and then they said, "You will pay for this."

    Me: "What are you going to do? Tell your parents?"

    Arson

    • A kid decided to burn his house down.

    His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, "That's arson."

  • 1

    • God

    • *Coughs roughly* Oh my God, it hurts so much. I can't see. It burns! Help!!! Help!!! Help!!! Help!!! *Weakly*

  • 2

    • 9/11

    • If someone told me to bring up 9/11, they were trying to make a funny joke, but it didn't work.

    That one really *crashed and burned*.

  • 1

    • Letter

    • I was having issues in my personal and professional life. I hated everyone. I was on the brink of a mental breakdown and depression. I decided to see a therapist about it. The therapist suggested that I should write letters to the people I hate and then burn them. I must admit I feel much better...

    But now I don't know what to do with the letters.

  • 2

    • Priest

    • A Catholic school is burning down. One of the priests says, "Save the children, save them!" Another priest says, "F*ck the children, we're gonna die!!" The last priest is like, "Hmmm... do we have time?"

  • 0